Albert Fish (2007)
My laptop has come back to life a little bit so the two a
day reviews will hopefully continue.
Today we start with another documentary on the life of Albert Fish. I don’t like serial killers but I do think
they’re interesting. Learning about how
they turned evil and that whole process is the part that’s cool. I could do without all the killing.
The movie starts by being narrated by what sounds like the
guy at the Haunted Mansion. He comes out
and tells us exactly why there is a film about this guy, in 1934 he abducted, killed
and ate an eight year old girl. We know
all of this because he wrote it in a letter and sent it to the mom.
Here’s a breakdown on what happened. Creepy 60 something year old Albert Fish saw
an ad in the paper about a guy looking for work. He picked that person to be his victim but
went to their house only to see that the guy was 18 and wouldn’t be
overpowered. His younger sister though
would be an early target. He spoke to
her parents and told them that he was going to his niece’s birthday party and
wanted the girl to come with him to it. The
parents thought, hmmm should we let or eight year old daughter go with a creepy
60 year old dude to a party with people with also don’t know in a location that
we again, don’t know? Seems ok to us and
they let her go. He basically asked if
he could have their permission to kill the girl and the parents said whatever.
The story backs off and the guy who owns the letter now is
interviewed. He says that he purchased
it because to him, it’s the Magna Carta.
He also calls his house the “odditorium” and is whacked out.
20 minutes in and he get to his childhood. His family had a history of mental
illness. His dad died early and his mom
gave him up to an orphanage at age seven.
He was beaten there a lot and started to go weird. The whippings started to get him off and he
became a prostitute getting into the freaky stuff in Europe when he was
20. He did that for 4 years then moved back
to New York, got married and had 6 kids while continuing to do the freaky stuff
with random men. Fish then killed
children in every state from Montana to New York.
The rest of the movie is both disturbing and boring at the
same time. Speaking of time, I could
have saved an hour and just read about him online because all that’s happening
is the narrator is telling us about the murdering part of his life. Like so many psychopaths, he believed he was
doing God’s work and that the big man
wanted him to kill children.
Let’s wrap this up so I can get to another movie
FAVORITE SCENE: Like I said before, I like knowing the why
not the what so the childhood feature of the biography was my favorite.
MEMORABLE LINES : Nada
RATING : 4 Swedish Fish.
Movie was pretty boring. You
might be thinking to yourself that this isn’t even a horror movie but I would
say learning about this guy has made me feel just as dirty as any psychological
thriller would.
Alternate Ending : Also nada. I for one, like the mass murderers being
executed.
WHAT WOULD I DO IF I WAS THE MAIN CHARACTER : Eaten more
pork (the other white meat) because I’m sure it’s better than human. Also not consume so much child blood.
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE SEQUEL: Fish struggled doing God’s work
on earth and has an even harder time in hell.
What he looked like
The odditorium guy. I would say just as weird but he isn't.
Don't watch this
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