Time Spent Watching Movies

Time Spent Watching Movies 3 Days 14 Hours 23 Minutes

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween Catch Up Post Pt. 1


I've seen a lot of movies and I'll never be able to post them all in time so you get a majorly abridged post.

Movie # 12
The American Scream (2012)

Decent enough doc on 3 different people who make haunted houses at their homes.  One guy does it for himself and makes his family sacrifice so he can make up for a lost childhood.  Didn't like him if you can tell.  Another guy does it just by dumpster diving and enjoys making things because it allows him to spend time with his family.  The last is a father/son team who are a little slow possibly but very likable.  They are of course also clowns when not scaring. 

 That used coffin cost him $200

Rating: 6.3 Zombie lollipops.  Another doc that shows a culture that I didn't know existed.  Not the best, not the worst.

Movie #13
Blackenstein (1973)
 This movie sucked.  I thought that it could be a fun watch at least but instead it was such a waste of time.  Whenever Blackenstein ripped someones instestines out, they oddly just looked like chili.  Boobs though.

He's not going in for a hug

 Rating: 3.0 black licorice.  That might've been racist.    Anyway, I don't like black licorice.

Movie #14
Evil Dead 2 (1987)
 I saw the second half of this and then went back and watched the beginning.  Movie will always be fun to watch.  Effects look really cool still.  Army of Darkness next year.

Don't hug the trees.  They might hug back.

Rating: 8 Life Savers Gummies.  Just like 1 but better.

Movie #15
House (1986)
Ding dong, you're dead is an awesome tagline.  I saw most of this movie but was a little distracted while watching it so I'll need to see it again.  Movie had a lot of good things working for it.  Hallucinations, Vietnam flashbacks and 80's vibe all make for a pretty good movie.

"Yarp"

Rating : 6.1 Andes Mints.  Lots of guys like this popping up too.

Movie #16
Sinister (2012)

This movie ended up being kind of a let down.  I like where it went but it just needed something more after the ending.  If a movie has a twist at the end, that shouldn't just be it because I need something else.

Why did it always have to be kids!

Rating: 5.0 Lemonheads.  Didn't care for Ethan Hawke or his character.  Liked the story for the most part though.

Movie# 17
Slither (2006)

This movie was gross but in a good way.  Nathan Fillion tries to save Elizabeth Banks from an alien infected Michael Rooker.  That's basically the plot.

Would dump.
6.1 Bit o Honey's.  Nathan Fillion was great as was the mayor.  Jenna Fischer had a little part too.  Good horror movie that wasn't too serious.

Movie# 18
Haxan (1922)
This movie was bonkers.  Haxan is a swedish doc/horror movie about the history of witchcraft.  Satan pops up a ton and takes part in a lot of orgys.  The black and white silent movie style that it's in makes it way creepier.
Quickly walk away.

Rating 6.4 Runts.  Probably won't watch again but it was a crazy late night experience.

Movie# 19
Troll (1986)
This movie sucked.  I can see why troll 2 is the worst movie ever (almost).  The only thing to take out of this is the main character's dad is named Harry Potter.

Crucial Label
Rating: 1.1 Pearsons Salted Nut Rolls.  Nothing good about this movie.  Super boring.

Movie# 20
The Loved Ones (2009)
This movie was the opposite of Troll.  It was good.  Gory but didn't go over the line into gross.  Chick and dad were bananas crazy.  The Keanu Reeves look alike was decent but didn't add anything.  More boobs.

Those are not the eyes of a sane man.

Rating: 8.3 Last years Australian movies were undewhelming but not this one.  Good little torture movie.


Movie#21
V/H/S 2 (2013)
This movie was a ton of fun to watch.  Almost passed because 1 wasn't that good but this was totally worth it.  More boobs.  Here is my ranking of favorite to least : Safe Haven, Phase 1 Clinical Trials, A Ride in the Park, Slumber Party Alien Abduction, Tape 49.

Wrong kind of fire drill

Rating 8.4 Sour Patch Kids.  One of the better anthologies that I've seen.
Pt. 2 coming later tonight.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Ringu October Movie # 11 (Movie 96)


Ringu (1998)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0178868/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Two girls are at a slumber party.  One tells a story about a videotape that you watch and some chick tells you that you are going to die in seven days.  We’ve all heard the story.  I got to say, this movie came out four years before Ju-on and it looks way better.  They both are a little scared and then boom, the phone rings (for like a really long time).  Before that one of the girls said she really did watch the video a week ago.  Luckily for them it’s just their parents on the phone.  Then the TV turns on by itself, which isn’t supposed to happen.  The girl turns it off only to have it pop on again.  This time, when she turns around she dies but we don’t get to see it.

 "Son, turn your blank, soulless stare off for the funeral please"

A reporter named Asakawa is doing a story on the girl’s death and attends the dead girl's funeral her weird little son Yoichi.  Asakawa finds a picture of the girl when she died and it does not look good.  She’s making a face like she has just seen the scariest thing ever while smelling the stankiest thing of all time.  Asakawa then finds some pictures that the girl took just before death and her face came out blurry in all of them. 

 Seven more days until Ender's Game

Because Asakawa is a good reporter I guess, she goes to the hotel where the girl watched the video and finds a guestbook where someone wrote, “My dad is fat.  So is my mom.  I’m fat too”.  It’s the funniest thing.  She then watches the video like a dumbass which shows just a bunch of random images (woman brushing her hair in the mirror, the word eruption, a well) and then gets the you have seven days to live call.

The next day, Asakawa calls over her ex Ryuji (captain Kaneda from Sunshine) and tells him what happened.  He think’s its all bologna until he takes her picture and sees that it’s all blurry.  He watches it and doesn’t get the phone call though.  She makes him a copy of the video and together they try to work out what to do.  They come across a story where a woman on some island where a lot of the things from the video are from predicted a volcano.  She takes her kid to her grandfathers when she has 3 days left and I guess Ryuji got the call too because he says he has 4.  She wakes up that night and sees that Yoichi is watching the video.  Uh oh.  The boy says that the dead girl from the first scene told him to watch it, which makes sense to both parents.

 Did I eat Arbys twice yesterday?

Asakawa and Ryuji travel to the island where everything went down.  We learn some of the background story on the woman brushing her hair in the video who had some kind of ESP and they find the mirror at her house.  We learn that Ryuji also has some kind of ESP powers when he touches the old guy who works at the hotels hand and sees a flashback to the demonstration where she was supposed to show everyone her powers.  Someone calls her a fraud and then that dude dies.  The chick yells out “Sadako!” and some little creepy girl runs away.  Sadako is her daughter and has the power to just kill people (will she use it for good or evil).  The mom killed herself and no one knows what happened to the daughter.

A big ole storm comes to town and the two barely make it off the island with Asakawa having one day left.  They head back to the hotel and find a well under one of the buildings just like the one at the end of the video.  Asakawa has a vision of Sadako’s dad whacking her on the head and then dumping her in the well.  Ryuji goes down in the well and finds fingernails on the sides of the well meaning Sadako was still alive and tried to climb out.  They spend the whole day trying to empty out the well bucket by bucket.  It’s getting very near death time.


 This is why your well water smells
 BIG SPOILERS

They switch positions with Asakawa going down in the well when all of a sudden she finds hair and a hand grabs her arm.  Slowly Sadako comes out of the water and Asakawa hugs her creepy skeleton.  Ryuji yells that it’s past death time and that they’ve done it!  No dying for them.  Everybody goes home and things seem like they’re back to normal.  Ryuji turns around in his place and the video is on.  It shows Sadako crawling out of the well and walking towards the camera.  All of a sudden Sadako crawl out of the TV.  He see’s her eye, makes the face and dies all while on the phone with Asakawa. 

Now Asakawa is all worried about her kid dying.  Now she is wondering what she did to keep her alive.  She looks at her TV and in the reflection sees Ryuji pointing to her purse, which has a copy of the video she made.  Asakawa comes to the conclusion that if you make a copy and show it to someone else, then you pass it on to him or her.  You can make a chain that goes on forever or end it by showing it to someone who wants to or is ready to die (her old dad).  The end with weird club music.

READ ALONG
Favorite Scene: The big scare.

Memorable Lines: “Ryuji? When it's time for me to die... Stay with me.”

Rating: 7.1 Kit Kat bars.  This is a far superior movie to Ju-on in suspense, cinematography and just general story telling.  The acting and writing is so-so but it’s paced well and the tone just feels like a horror movie should.

Alternate Ending: That kid was creepy and I want him to get it.

What I would do if I were the main character: Be too scared of the possibility of dying to watch the video.  Also too dumb to believe it’s real.  So I guess I’m saying live.

What happens in the sequel: The American Ring 2 is total garbage.  The Japanese on is pretty cool and goes into more about the Sadako’s mom.  Will do next year probably.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Insidious October Movie #10 Movie #95


Insidious (2010)


Rose Byrne wakes up in her goofy pajamas and walks downstairs to look at pictures.  Her son walks downstairs and joins her because he can’t sleep.  The dad goes to work and the mom is stuck at home to watch after the two sons and the baby girl.  Way to make the guy look bad.  That night one of the kids, Dalton, is playing upstairs and the attic door opens on its own.  He goes inside and something starts moving in the dark.  Dalton screams and the parents go up there to find him crying.  Who knows what happened.

 It's ok Rose, I like your music.

That night something showed up in his window but I’m not sure what because I’m watching a movie with sketchy quality.  The dad goes to wake the boy up the next day and he’s in a coma (acoma).  The movie jumps to three months later when Dalton is finally brought home from the hospital but is still under.  The mom is playing piano and hears static followed by angry voices in the baby monitor.  Medium level of creepiness.  She runs upstairs and finds no trace of the voices.  I knew show wouldn’t.  She checks on the other boy who tells her that he is scared when the coma son walks around at night (yikes).

Of course we see the boy later that night and he is scared.  The couple are in their room when a loud bang is heard downstairs.  The dad checks the front door (which was unlocked) and finds nothing.  He locks the door and sets the alarm like a responsible father while the mom checks on the baby because she heard some chatter on the monitor.  Rose walks in the room and sees a face outside the window!  Solid scare.  He rushes in and sees nothing.  The alarm goes off and when he checks downstairs the door is also wide open.  The night ends and some solid suspense has been built.

The next day Rose checks on Dalton and there’s a red handprint on his sheets.  That day also the dad who is a teacher decides he would rather be away from his wife’s nagging and stays at the school late.  The dad also dreams in black and white about the son and handprints against the window.  The mom wakes up screaming and sees something moving outside.  All of a sudden a black shape that looks like Loki charges at her yelling.  I might’ve yelled “Oh”. 

They move right away after that and Barbara Hershey (the dad’s mom) helps her out.  Rose is cleaning the house one day and the record player changes to something completely different on its own.  Through the window she sees a boy dancing (yikes).  A door closes on its own and a rocking horse does the same.  The ghost kid then pops out and scares her meaning they’re haunted not the house.  She brings a priest over and the dad doesn’t believe anything is going on.  The mom says shut up this is real and tells them about a dream she had last night.  She was in their house but she knew she was asleep.  She went into Dalton’s room and a creepy black shape is standing in the corner.  She asked it who it was and he said a visitor and he’s here for the boy.  Uh oh.  She looks behind the dad (Josh) and a Darth Maul looking guy is behind.  Scare and then laugh.  Big noises come from Dalton’s room and when they actually get in because the door is locked they find the room completely trashed.  

 These are not the ghosts you're looking for.


Some ghost hunter kind of come to investigate the house.  One guy gets a blip on his machine and sees two very creepy girls.  I made more of a Woh this time.  They call in their boss Elise.  She tells one of the guys to draw what she sees in Dalton’s room.  Elise looks very serious while looking at it.  Also she mentions that she has seen Josh before.  Rose looks at the picture and it sure looks creepy.  Elise tells them that Dalton isn’t in a coma and his body is fine but that is cursed.  She thinks that he is an accomplished astral projector (can do out of body experiences or something) and he has travelled out too far.  He is now lost in “the further”.  “The further” is a dark realm all around full of the tortured souls of the dead (nice).  These things that have been haunting the family are around because they can smell Dalton’s empty shell and want that body.  Some just want to live again but some want to do it for bad.  Unfortunately the closest thing to getting in Dalton’s body is an “insidious” (there it is) demon.  The longer he is lost means the easier it is for him to be possessed.  Dad somehow finds this all hard to believe and puts up a fight against it.

 The one on the right isn't bad

Josh hangs out in Dalton’s room and sees some pictures that he drew.  Some are of the demon and one says, “Last night I watched myself sleep”.  That’s proof enough for him and Elise is brought back.  They set up some kind of séance with involves a camera flashing and her wearing a gas mask with an elephant trunk.  They start and I bet something good is going to pop up in the flash.  Elise is talking into the mask and talking to Dalton.  He says it’s dark and he can’t see.  Then he whispers, “If they hear me they’ll hurt me” specifically ‘the one with fire on his face”.  Dalton then tells the ghost investigators to stop talking because they heard you.  Then he keeps repeating, ”Help me”.  Elise starts freaking out and the voice now says, “you bitch!  I know who you are.  I will rip your innards out” Suddenly Dalton is standing next to them and knocks everyone back with some kind of force powers.  The ghosts bust in and the Loki looking one grabs lose and licks her.  Jealous. 

The séance ends with the only evidence caught on tape by the ghost hunters being a clip with Darth Maul standing behind Dalton.  Barbara shows up and breaks the news that Josh was the original astral projector and this same thing happened to him back in the day when he was little.  The check out pictures of when he was a child and this creepy old lady keeps appearing in his pictures.  He doesn’t remember any of it because they repressed it but in the back of his mind he’s always been afraid of having his pictures taken.  Elise then drops another nugget on him by saying him going into The Further and getting Dalton is the only way to bring him back.  Josh is put under hypnosis and we are off into the further.

THIS IS WHERE THE ENDING BEGINS

It’s basically just this world with a dark blue/green tinted lens.  He walks into his old house and it’s just fully of spirits.  Downstairs he hears and odd whistling and sees a family from the 40’s or something and the mom looks pretty scary.  He walks back into the room and the daughter of the family shot the rest of them.  He looks away and they’re all standing in front of him (whoaaa).  Loki shows up in the attic and there’s a fight, which Josh wins, with an ultimate punch.  In all of Dalton’s drawings there is a red door.  Josh finds it and walks through.  There’s a red tinge now and a creepy hallway.  Josh finds Dalton who is chained up and the Darth Vader sharpening his claws.  The fight with Darth Maul (who has hooves) causes the whole house to shake.  Father and son bust out of the red room and start making their way out of the house. 

 Your mom's a dude.

Now all that is left is for them to find their way back to this world.  The only problem is the dead are just standing all around them.  The house goes black and silent which makes the ghost hunters check on a room and an arm grabs out at one of them through a dresser.  The dead are starting to cross into our world and they are all over the house.  The two make it in and get separated.  Darth Maul pops out and scares Dalton out of nowhere and Josh sees the old lady in a window.  He does the Home Alone I’m not afraid anymore and tells her to go away. 

He and Dalton both make it back I guess and wake up.  Happy music starts playing.  Everything seems to be back to normal but Elise sees something weird in Josh when he hands her something.  She quickly snaps a picture of him and he freaks out, choking her to death.  Josh is gone and Rose picks up the camera to see a picture of Josh as the old lady. 

Dun Dun Dun

Favorite Scene: Nothing stands out.  The séance I guess.

Memorable Lines: It's not the house that is haunted. It's your son.

Rating: 6.4 Dots.  Better than Ju-on at least.  It’s hard to judge this movie.  The first half there was some real suspense built.  Then Darth Maul showed up and you stopped being scarred.  The ending could’ve been better if it was longer.  That is what I think.

Alternate Ending: I wouldn’t change it.  Liked the outcome.

What I would do if I was the main character: Two kids is enough right?  Do I really need all three?  Is going into The Further worth it?  I would have some things to consider.

What happens in the sequel: I don’t know but I’ll see it soon.

I'll see you soon

Monday, October 21, 2013

Ju-on :The Grudge October Movie #9 (Movie #94)


Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)


Always wanted to watch this and now I am.  Behind on movies so no intro and I’m doing this while I watch, deal with it.  The movies opening text said something about when a person dies in the middle of a rage, a curse is born and that possibly is called.  This chick named Rika works at a social welfare place and is given a crappy first case.  She shows up at the house of an old woman that is covered with trash.  Either she is really lazy of needs the help.  The old lady gets a sponge bath and then Rika gets to cleaning.  She does some poking around and hears a noise coming from a room.  She walks into it and the closet door has been heavily taped shut.  The noise was that of a cat.

The tape was probably there for a reason but she pulls it down anyway.  Rika opens the door and finds the cat and a child locked inside.  Rika goes back downstairs to see the old lady who is his grandma and she keeps repeating “I told her like you said please stop tormenting me”.  Then a black ghostlike figure with red eyes swoops down on her and causes Rika to faint all while the boy watches.

Things fade out and the text Katsuya appears on the screen meaning this movie must be broken down into segments maybe by each character.  This time it seems to focus on the daughter in law of the old lady.  That must be Katsuya.  She hears a noise and checks out what’s going on.  She follows the cat and a ghost white little boy into a room screams.  Hours go by and her husband walks in and is looking for her.  He finds her in a bed kind of paralyzed, possibly by fear.  The little kid runs behind him while he calls for an ambulance.  That boy is so sneaky.  He pops up again and makes a cat noise.  The wife then looks like she dies.

Next the wife’s sister walks in.  The house looks like garbage and only the dude seems to care, which is strange for a bunch of Asians.  The sister bumps into the husband who just keeps saying, “That’s not my baby.  That’s not by baby” leaving me to believe that possibly the ghost kid isn’t his baby.  His acts really trippy like this has bothered him for a while and kicks the sister out.  I finally realized that his name is Katsuya and he walks into a room where a different ghost, this time of a girl, looks out of a window.

 Ghosts must all be in college


Katsuya’s story is over and we move on to the sister Hitomi’s.  It starts with her leaving from work and calling to say she is on her way over.  In the bathroom she gets a call from the sisters cell and all you can hear is a croaking before it’s disconnected.  Before leaving, she sees a ghost like woman come out of the stall next to hers.  That’s why you want to avoid public bathrooms.  Hitomi gets a security guard to check it out and watches him get sucked away by the shadow ghost thing on the cam.

No big deal though so Hitomi heads to her apartment.  Something cool happens in the elevator where you see the little boy out the window as she goes up each floor.  She calls brother in law over because she’s freaked out and he shows up at her apartment except when she opens the door, no one is there except for the phone croak again.   Weird stuff is happening to her.  She puts on the TV to ease her mind and the lady on there got all distorted.  To top things off, it was making the croaking sound again.  Hitomi hides under the covers and is joined by the ghost girl.  End of that segment.

The next one is called Toyama and I have no clue who that is.  Rika’s boss stops by the house to check on her and finds the girl in shock not moving and the old lady dead.  He calls the police who find Katsuya and the wife dead in the attic.  The cop stops in on her at the hospital and tells her that the family who lived there had no kids so who whoever she saw wasn’t their kid.  The police look into a report and find out that a guy killed his wife in that house and the ghost boy was their kid.  The wife’s body was found in the attic.  So things are starting to make a little sense.

Some guy is talking to his daughter when the police come up to him and ask him some questions.  His name is Toyama and he was the cop who was in charge of the case from the last paragraph.  Rika talks to the detective some more who tells her that the boy was never found.  Also someone stumbles upon Rika’s boss handcuffed to a sink dead and Hitomi is missing.  Things aren’t great for this family right now.  Toyama watches the security footage from the dead rent-a-cop and sees a black figure walk out of a room and stare right into the camera.  Still no real big scares.

Rika wakes up that night to the boy sitting on her bed and the girl ghost leaning over her while croaking.  Toyama breaks into the ghost house with two whole cartons of gas and starts dumping them all over the floor.  It’s nighttime and he opens a door to see the house in daytime with a girl running out.  Coolest thing yet.  Same thing happens upstairs but it turns into a ghost room.  The two other detectives run in the house just in time to see the ghost girl climbing slowly down the stairs.

 You would think this would be scary but they just sit there.


The fifth segment is named Izumi.  She’s the chick that Toyama saw running down the stairs in the house.  I think she is Toyama’s daughter.  Two of her friends come over and she is looking a little bit like she might be the girl ghost.  Izumi tells them a story about how se went to a haunted house with three girls who are missing and saw them there last and feels like they are coming for her.  She freaks out again, the friends leave and they also notice that Izumi’s eyes are turning black in every picture. 

Izumi wakes up that night and the three missing girls ghosts appear and the original ghost girl sucks her away.  She appears as a ghost next to her ghost dad Toyama who died somewhere I guess.


ENDING SPOILERS
 
The last story is of Kayako, the wife.  She takes a shower and feels a hand on the back of her head but when she turns around no one is there.  We get back to Rika who sees the ghost boy at a restaurant.  Weird things happen to her like she dreams about being in a room full of black cats and her friend is called to the house of kid in her class who also happens to be the ghost kid so she has to Rika run over there to deal with that.  Rika shows up right as her friend is being dragged up into the attic.  The girl ghost is the guilty one and chases her around the house a little.  Rika stops by a mirror and see the ghost climbing out of her clothes but it’s nothing.  I’m pretty lost.  The girl ghost climbs down the stairs and is covered in blood.  The guy who killed his wife to start everything walks down the stairs now and kills her I guess.  Finally the empty town is shown and covered in missing posters meaning maybe the whole place is full of cat ghosts now.
 Scariness wiped away by bad haircut



Favorite Scene: Definitely when Toyama was walking around the house and opened the doors of daylight which probably was of the future too

Memorable Lines: Not really.

Rating: 6 5th Avenues.  I like what they attempted to do with splitting the story into each characters segment but when it comes down to it, the movie didn’t have any real scares.  Every once in a while the ghost would show up right next to one of the characters but that was it.  Also the ghosts are just people with covered in blue paint with black eye makeup.  The stories linked together pretty well but it was hard at times to tell when things were taking place.  Then again, I’m dumb so that could be it too.

Alternate Ending: I watched it on YouTube.  The director cut it because it was too long.  The original ghost dude wraps up Rika and she realizes that she is doomed to continue the ghost trend.  It’s a little better than a hand just being stuck out I guess.

What I would do if I was the main character: If I see a stupid looking girl slowly walking down the stairs trying to kill me I would probably kick her.  At least attempt to.  Lying down in fear isn’t a big help.

What happens in the sequel: I bought it when a blockbuster was going out of sale for a dollar so I’ll end up seeing it sometime soon.


I have like 6 of these ready to post so be on the look out.
https://www.facebook.com/CandyAndAMovie

Friday, October 18, 2013

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon October Movie #8 (Movie #93)


Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437857/?ref_=nv_sr_2


In between playing cookie clicker (http://orteil.dashnet.org/cookieclicker/), I managed to find time to find time to write a review for Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.  I saw this a few years ago and remember really liking it but what I didn’t recall was how it ended.  Here’s what happened.

The movie starts with a news report that takes place in a world where movie serial killers like Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruegar are real.  Already a cool concept.  The reporter is a woman named Taylor and she is doing a piece on who she believes to be the next big slasher, Leslie Vernon.  His background story is that he was abused by his parents as a boy and in returned killed them which caused the town to panic and throw him over a waterfall resulting in his upcoming revenge.

The television crew stops by Leslie’s house to meet him for the first time.  He seems like a pretty normal and almost cool dude, not a killer.  Taylor asks him some questions and eventually he says that his first big plan is to reappear at his old house on the 20th anniversary of his death.  That night will become the anchor for his legend.  Next they show him working out and he tells them that slashers need to have great cardio in order to be able to walk and seem like they’re running.

 Doesn't look like much of a killer


Once the interview at his house is finished, Leslie takes the crew with him as he scouts out his target group at the local high school.  There he describes who he is looking for and goes into detail about the all important virgin survivor girl.  That night he takes them with him to the survivor girl he has picked out (Kelly) work where he scares her a little.

 "Now I'm going to go scare this girl while you stand here and look like you permanently have a runny nose"

Next everyone moves on to some veteran serial killers who are friends and kind of mentors of Leslie.  The guy is Hershel from the walking dead and I have no idea who his wife is.  Taylor questions them a little Hershel says that they are in the fear business and not serial killers.  The world needs people like them to keep a balance between good and evil.

 Rick and Hershel never got this close

That night Leslie takes the television team with him as he attempts to scare Kelly and kill the librarian who is nice to her at the library where she frequents.  Leslie plants a story there about how her great uncle killed someone in his family to scare her a little.  Everything goes according to plan meaning Kelly is scared and the librarian gets murdered but also Robert Englund shows up to protect the girl and shoots Leslie.  You would think that would worry Leslie but instead he is stoked saying that Englund will only help to make his story better and the role that Englund plays is referred to as the Ahab.

 Her book was overdue


When the TV crew scouted out Kelly before, Leslie made it clear that his only rule was not to speak to her at any time because it could ruin anything.  Taylor wants to defy that rule and heads into the diner that Kelly works out.  Ahab spots them and asks Taylor what they are doing here which makes her panic.  He then says that Leslie isn’t who they think he is and his real name is Leslie Mancuso.  Taylor leaves to a pissed of Leslie in the parking lot and she isn’t too happy herself.  She questions him about the Mancuso thing to which her responds he really isn’t Leslie Vernon but it doesn’t matter all that much because this is his life now.  They square everything over and put things in the past.


On the day before the big night of murder, Leslie goes over what he will do with the camera crew step by step.  He finishes up his final preparations like putting dead batteries in the flashlights and nailing the windows shut.  It’s really cool seeing him explain what’s going to happen and crack jokes while doing.

 Just getting a quick base


The night of the anniversary arrives and Kelly along with seven of her friends sneak into Leslie’s haunted house.  Two of them go up stairs to bang just like Leslie predicted and he sneaks into their room and kills them.  It’s at that moment where everything becomes too real for Taylor and she starts to lose it.  Leslie takes her and the crew outside and kicks them out because he thinks they will interfere.  Taylor wants him to do something else but Leslie says that he has made his choice and goes over his role in the how good vs. evil thing.  They have a big good bye and he heads back to the house.

Not too long after the good bye Taylor says that the documentary is over and it’s time they stop Leslie.  They bust into the house to save Kelly but find her banging her boyfriend, which means that she’s no virgin.  The camera crew all know Leslie’s plan because he told them earlier that day so they decide to head upstairs to throw off his schedule.  Oddly enough instead of finding the two dead people in the bed like they planned they find nothing. 

 Should've been able to tell Kelly (left) wasn't a virgin

Two of the stoner’s head out the shed and are killed by Leslie.  Everyone heads for the news van to make their escape only to find the dead kids from the bed and the van doesn’t work.  After heading back to the house, Kelly tests her luck by jumping out of the second story window and dying.  It’s at this moment when the three-piece television crew realizes that Leslie’s plan has changed and they are now a part of it.  Leslie kills the first cameraman and chases the two remaining kids along with Kelly and the other cameraman into the barn.

 Death from above!  Good thing she wore underwear.

MOVIE WITH A TWIST

It’s in the barn where Kelly has the breakthrough thought that it is really her that’s the survival girl and it’s been that way all along.  This whole documentary thing was just a ploy to get close to her.  Pretty cool twist.  Ahab shows up to help but the cameraman thinks he is Leslie and knocks him out with a shovel.  The last two kids are killed along with the cameraman and Ahab getting knocked out leaves Taylor alone with Leslie.  She heads to the shed, grabs and ax and makes her way into the apple orchard.  There’s a chase and then a fight where she catches him with the ax but it doesn’t kill him.  It was hard to watch this fight because I didn’t know whom to root for.  They head into the cider room where more fighting takes place.  Taylor eventually pins his head in the apple masher and squishes it.  After killing him, Taylor lights the little building on fire and is joined by Ahab and the cameraman.  The end.  The end credits show a security camera at a morgue where Leslie pops up and isn’t dead at all

REAL THE END


There's a chase and she catches him with the ax. Not dead. Don't know whom to root for. They fight it out in the shed. She pins his head in the cider masher and squishes his head. He says I knew you were the one. She lights the shed on fire. Cameraman and Ahab show up. The end. End credits show him waking up in the morgue. 

Favorite Scene: Easily when Leslie goes through everything the kids are going to do through the night.  Writer was a real expert at these slasher movies.

Memorable Lines: Nothing too amazing

“Expert” Reviews: Mark Rahner writes “About two-thirds in, the movie shifts gears disastrously. Made me want to haul someone into the cutting room for revenge.” You’re 2/3 retarded Mark.
Nick Schager says, “Other than displaying a textbook awareness of its ancestors, Behind the Mask offers next to nothing,” I think you missed the whole point Nick.

Rating: 8.1 Twix.  I loved this movie.  It was funny and clever.  The acting isn’t anything amazing but it’s all about the writing in this one.  If you’re a fan of slasher movies than you should love this.  Even Robert Englund is in it.

Alternate Ending: Spoilers.  The only thing I would change is have the other cameraman die.  Oh and add a part where Taylor is knocked out at the end and Leslie fights with Ahab some more.

What I would do if I were the main character: Pick a different school project.  Maybe do a report on the national parks or something.

What happens in the sequel: They are working on getting everything set up for a prequel right now called B4TM (Before the Mask).  They have been trying to get it done for a while and I hope it happens some day.

T.E.