Candy and a Movie: VHS Viral (October Movie 6)

VHS-Viral

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3704538/?ref_=nv_sr_1

This movie was a mess.

A guy films his girlfriend around the house a few times. Next, there is a car chase through their neighborhood that he wants to film. The girlfriend randomly walks out into the road as the car (which is an ice cream truck) drives and hits a cop leaving nothing behind but his arm. She vanishes. His phone counts down to her calling him and then shows her screaming face.

Jump to a woman being interviewed about a magician named Dante the Great. A news piece tells a little about him. Supposedly he owns a cape that Houdini had and threw away because it scared him. It seems to be really magical. One day the cape stops working and he starts losing it. He hands his girlfriend the cape as a towel in the shower and is randomly murdered. Another girl has the cape put on top of her in her sleep and it throws her all around.

Back to the chick being interviewed. She was his assistant. She found a video of him killing her ex boyfriend and a few other chicks. Swat team busts in during an interview and arrests him. He vanishes from the car and the driver is handcuffed to the strafing wheel. Chick says he can do real magic and he suddenly teleport her there and starts killing cops by throwing fireballs and ripping their skin off. One gets thrown on a bed of bails. Stuff like that. All the cops are killed. The assistant grabs the cape and they have a magic fight that involves more teleporting and walking on walls. It ends by her having him dragged under the cape and eaten by some unseen monster.

Sometime later she burns the cape but later that night her closet opens by itself and two hands grab her from the cape, which is hanging on the door.

Back to the first clip with the ice cream truck being chased and the girl missing. The boyfriend is in pursuit on his bike. Some bikers get hit this time, including the main guy who is being dragged.

Time for segment 3. A Spanish guy makes a portal to another galaxy or something that another version of him lives in. Is one evil or something? They check their watches and one is 15 minutes ahead of the other. There's one difference. They swap worlds and decide to meet back in 15 minutes.

One of the pictures on the wall is a pentagram or something and he says that's not in his world. I'm slightly confused on who's who but one world has a wife listening to porn noises around candles with two half naked guys and constellations on the ceiling and the other wife's is sleeping.

A giant blimp with an upside cross flies by in Satan universe. Everyone from that universe’s eyes and mouth start glowing, including the guy who's traveled to the other universe. Also they all have giant dong monsters with mouths and fangs. The chick is revealed to have a monster vajayjay and is punched in the face. Both guys make it back to their own world but are worlds but are killed by their wives who think they are monsters.

Back to original segment. A bunch of cholos are hanging out when ones dog gets stabbed. The ice cream truck drives by and he kills the rest of them.

Final segment. A couple of skaters shred and then head to Mexico. They see a zombie looking chick and the text "the beloved blood aflame our creature will be unleashed" pops up. Into it. They skate a little more and find a pentagram painted on the ground. One of them scrapes their elbow and bleeds on it. Uh oh. Zombie witch shows up out of nowhere and rips a guys arm off in the middle of the pentagram. Monk looking chanting dudes with skeletons on their faces start showing up all over the place. One says, "You will unearth our darling creature". One skater pulls out a handgun and starts shooting monks. A skater is lit on fire and another is stabbed with a sword.

I think there are two skaters left and they manage to put up a pretty good fight. They seem to kill off all but one when there is a scary monster like sound, which scares all of the monks away.

They continue to fight what looks like just skeletons now. A monster like something eats a camera from one of the dead skaters. The end.

Back to the original segment again. Guy is still chasing after his girlfriend. A random creepy guy is talking a girl into stripping in a cab. She pulls out a gun and makes him strip. I guess he bought a video of her naked and wants revenge for putting it on the Internet. He turns things around and chokes her only to have the cab wrecked by the ice cream truck in the chase. He finds the truck at in the morning and his girlfriend is on TV telling him to upload the videos, which he does. We then see her dead outside of the truck with her phone in her mouth (an iPhone, impressive). He looks into the phone, gets a nosebleed and dies. That’s really how it ends.

Rating: 3.0 Officially was a waste of time. The only part that looked liked it could’ve been cool ended with monster genitalia. All that needs to be said. I expected better from Vigalondo.

Favorite Scene: Very beginning of the multiverse segment. Got me all excited.

Memorable Lines: No way

What I would’ve done as the main character: Not gone viral. Such a lame concept.

What happens in the sequel: DVD 1. This movie was bad enough that the series needs to be retooled. That means bumping it up to DVD. Directors are hired to make good movies and not just quick garbage. 6 stars