I made it to 31 horror movies watched in October again. Also, I didn't get anywhere near 31 reviews but to make up for that I made a list of why you should or shouldn't see each movie for Halloween tonight. They're ranked worst to best. The rest of the reviews will be posted in November. To the list!
31. V/H/S Viral
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......you want to feel like the guy who drank from the wrong cup in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
30. Wolf Creek 2
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......the only other movie you have is Crocodile Dundee 3: Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. It's the only worse Australian movie
29. The Last Exorcism Part II
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......it's your only objective in life to see every movie with an exorcism (demon intervention), even the bad ones. This is one of the worst.
28. Wolf Creek
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......you hate your friends and loved ones. There's nothing good about this movie (and I liked the second) so they'll think you don't like them for picking it.
27. The ABC's of Death 2
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......You still frost your tips. You're used to bad things.
26. Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......you are under the influence of something. Actually anything. Drugs, alcohol, quesarittos, ect. It doesn't matter, as long as you are impaired.
25. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......you're under the age of two. They are the only people who might be scared. This is not for people who can talk.
24. The Sacrament
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......instead of wanting to watch a horror movie, you'd rather just watch a lame discovery channel dramatization of Jonestown that would only air at 4:00am
23. Deliver Us From Evil
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DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE UNLESS......you enjoy wearing jean shorts. Bad characters acting in a boring movie with only one good scene near the end.
22. The Purge
21. Acolytes
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......you like kids trying to get even. Changed it up a little because this movie wasn't awful. The acting is meh but if you are into thrillers its good enough.
20. Oculus
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you don't watch a lot of horror movies. You'll probably like it. There are a lot of movies with this same tone/haunting and they've been done better.
19. The Purge: Anarchy
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you might want to legally murder a guy or two. The first Purge should've been more like this. Get out on the streets and start killing. Decent action movie
18. The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you like campy old kung fu movies. If you don't, then it's not for you. It's ok, not near a must watch though.
17. The Innkeepers
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you like being scared but not going anywhere with the scares. That's how this felt. It was ok.
16. Grave Encounters
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......abandoned asylums are the best horror movie setting for you. They are for me so I really had a good time watching this. Possibly the worst acting in the whole list though.
15. The Quiet Ones
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you grew up in a neutral country and like everything average. Nothing too good or too bad about this one.
14. Insidious: Chapter 2
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......you liked the first one. It's about the same. Some scary things are scary and some are the opposite.
13. Ginger Snaps
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0210070/
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you like Clueless and werewolves.
12. Willow Creek
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you like found footage movies that don't have annoying characters as the leads. Most do, this doesn't. Also drink every time someone says bigfoot is a fun game.
11. Annabelle
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you can put up with a lot of slow scenes for one really good one. The elevator part was so good it made me feel bad for the character.
10. Black Sheep
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......You're with a group who like having a good time and don't mind a bit of blood.
9. Afflicted
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you want to see what backpacking through europe turning into becoming a vampire looks like. I did. Also see what jumping out of a four story window looks like.
8. The Battery
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......you like zombies and pbr. This movie is VERY indie but I happened to like it quite a bit.
7. Poltergeist
6. You're Next
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you want to see a good version of The Strangers with a very strong female lead. Really liked this one.
5. Don't Look Now
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......You want to watch a great looking 70's mystery/thriller. Some really cool things done with the camera in this one.
bonus
DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......you can't stand seeing old guy but because there's like 5 straight minutes of boning in here. If you can't skip or play something like panda pop on your phone for a little bit, it may take you out of the movie.
4. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......you want to see a top 10 pre-1960 horror movie. The originial is just as good (if not better) than the 70's remake.
3. Videodrome
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you want your mind to be blown in unsettling ways. What's real and what isn't? I liked it even more the second time watching.
2. Misery
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF......you've never seen it before and don't know anything about it. Also, if you are one of those tough guys who says that monsters, demons and ghosts don't scare you because you have no imagination because this is real life horror. Also watch if you have seen it before because it's a solid re-watch
1. The Houses October Built
WATCH THIS MOVIE IF.......you want to get sucked in to something good. Is this the best movie on the list? No. It was the best horror experience I had all month. Not perfect because the ending is a little meh but even if you are a person who doesn't like found footage movies, this is still worth the watch.
Hey, this is better than nothing. Watch something good tonight.
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