The Sacrament
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2383068/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2
Lets talk about Ti West, the director of this. His first big movie, House of the Devil was a
really solid movie. He followed that up
with The Innkeepers (an underwhelming movie that’s coming up next) and this
lame flick. After that he made an
underwhelming short for the first VHS and a terrible one for the ABCs of Death. What the heck happened? He is the movie version of Kirk Cousins. Had a good first game and now every game
blows. Movie time.
A guy’s sister sends him a letter saying she is living at a
new commune at some unknown location.
Together with a reporter and cameramen, the three dudes head to the
commune to check out the situation. A
few guys greet them with machine guns at the front gate but things ease down
once inside. The reporter interviews a
few people who live there and they all seem to think the commune (named Eden
Parish) is the best thing that ever happened to them.
That night at a gathering of the entire group, the reporter
interviews the man in charge who goes by “Father”. He comes off as a pretty nice southern
gentleman but eventually he starts sounding pretty loony. Right as the interview starts getting a
little weird and testy, Father cuts it off and starts the party.
Things finally get good later that night. After the party, a little girl walks up to
the reporter and cameraman and hands them a slip of paper that says “please
help us”. In the office, they find a
safe, which holds everyone in parish’s passports. They go looking for their friend but it seems
that his sister has pimped him out to her friends for some lovin time. The reporter and cameraman start freaking out
when they can’t find the guy (Patrick) and Father threatens them a little. The two of them track down the little girl’s
family who tells them that they are being held against their will. People who act out or try to leave are beaten
or worse. The people who don’t want out
are totally brainwashed. Patrick’s
sister is one of those and apparently has done some messed up things to people
trying to leave.
The next morning, like 40 people show up with their suitcases
and want to leave with freak fest with them.
Ricky Gervais would say everything is going “tits up”. Patrick’s sister loses is and runs to Father
for help. The commune has goes full cult
when the helicopter pilot who was supposed to take them home gets shot up. Patrick and the reporter are pretty much
taken hostage while the cameraman flees from sight into the jungle.
Father addresses the cult and says if we let the three
visitors go then we’re screwed but if we kill them, more will come so we’ll be
double screwed. There’s only one thing
left to do, drink the kool aid. That’s
what the plan is and he’s calling it the Last Sacrament. The juice looks pretty gross but they are
still drinking it. Everyone starts
moaning and puking their guts out so Father must’ve bought the good stuff at
least. Patrick’s sister injects him with
the death juice and he does a horrible job acting out his slow death out.
The people who don’t drink kool aid eat bullets
instead. Get it? Everyone is dead now except for Father,
Patrick’s sister Caroline, a few soldiers with guns and the cameraman (don’t
know what happened to reporter). Scratch
Caroline off that list because she lights herself on fire and Father shoots
himself in the face. One of the guards
with a conscience tells the camera guy to get out of there and he does. That is the uneventful ending.
Rating: 4.0 – I felt like something plot wise was
missing. It’s like the ending was set up
for a twist that never came. Perhaps
something supernatural happening?
Nope. Instead all I got was
basically a discovery channel dramatization on what Jamestown was like on a
smaller scale. No one was really that
evil or scared or violent. Just 50 or so
misguided people taking a permanent nap at a secret location. Where was the horror? Oh and the acting was terrrrrrible.
Favorite Scene: A crazy lady lighting herself on fire is
always ok with me.
Memorable Lines: None
What I would’ve done if I were the main character: You know
what almost every person who has been in a cult says about how they
joined? At first, they didn’t know it
was a cult and everything seemed legit. You
would have to be next level stupid to believe that here (and I’m not). This is exactly how the conversation would
go:
“Hey Candy/Movie guy,
how is your life going?”
“It’s not that bad.
Behind on the blogs but there’s still time”
“That’s great, just
great. Hey do you want to live in this
new settlement that we’re building”
“Settlement? What is
this the 1600’s? Pass.”
Simple enough right?
I can even go further.
“Haha Candy/Movie
guy. You’re so funny! No it’s not like that at all. Its just a bunch of people coming together to
make something beautiful from scratch”
“Like brownies”
“There you go
again. No it’s just a place where people
can live the life that they were meant”
“Well where is it?”
“I can’t tell you
that”
Could’ve stopped here again.
Let’s keep going though.
“That’s weird”
It’s just for our own
safety”
“Is this place dangerous?”
“You don’t need to
worry about that because we’ve hired some armed locals for protection”
“I don’t know man this sounds like it’s too crazy bananas
for me. Are you going to vote for who is
in charge?”
“We already have a
leader, his name is Father”
“Yeah, I’m not calling him that. What is his real name?”
“No one really knows”
“Uh huh. Well what if
I try it and want to leave. Is that
cool”
“No it’s most not
cool. We can’t have you going out and
telling people where we are right? We’ll
just hold onto to your passport in the safe to keep it protected”
“Hmm. Well what if I
want to earn some extra money there and want to send it back to my family?”
“Money is evil
Candy/Movie guy. You work for your food
and your lodging alright?”
That’s enough right?
I won’t ever believe someone who says when they joined the cult
everything seemed legit”
What happens in the sequel: All of the Kool-Aid drinkers
really did go to space in spirit form.
It’s just dark and boring up there.
Kind of like this movie.
Father on a good day
And Father on a bad day
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