Paranormal
Activity: The Marked Ones
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2473682/?ref_=nv_sr_1
So
this is the fifth Paranormal Activity and I’ve seen them all. Generally they tend to be very slow with a
climatic last five minutes. It will
never blow you away but I enjoy watching with other people. This is the first one where white people
aren’t haunted. Time to diversify.
A
cholo graduates high school and buys a camcorder. He and his friend drop a go
pro camera they also got down a vent to spy on the neighbor downstairs and see
her butt naked (she's gross) painting a circle on another butt naked girl
(better looking). That night some guy they knew from high school jumps out of
the neighbor’s apartment and she winds up dead.
I think he did it.
The
two dumb main characters decide to break into her now turned crime scene
apartment where they hear a baby crying but only find a doll in the crib.
There's blood all over the place and they leave with the lady’s journal. Inside
of it is a bunch of stuff about demons and portals and stuff. It’s a good read.
They
go to a church and with a mirror painted black, try and make a portal to hell I
suppose. Even if you're curious, I don't see the point. At best, nothing
happens and at worst a demon shows up. Well nothing happens for a while until
the noises start. They track them down to a locked stall in the bathroom. They
look under the door but it's empty. It's starts banging anyway and the cheese
it out of there. Decent scare.
The
main character, Jesse, wakes up with a bite mark the next morning and his dog
doesn't like him anymore. That's never good. They play Simon (the flashing
light memory game, you know it) and that night and it starts working as an Ouija
board almost, answering their questions. Jesse and his friend get jumped at a
basketball court and somehow Jesse flicks them in the air like 10 feet. More Simon
Ouija that night. It's answers yes to "did you send those guys flying
tonight" but nothing to "are you good". Also no to "are you
my guardian angel".
Jesse
wakes up the next night and has some super powers. He can jump really high,
blow up air mattresses really fast and lean back really far. Not amazing powers
at all. Jesse and his friend go to a party and bring two chicas back to the
dead ladies apartment. The one chica Jesse is with starts talking dirty and
asks him to go get some supplies for the humping that is about to happen. While
she is alone, she finds a trap door. The skank peeks down it and a hand grabs
out at her head. I jumped. Jesse shows back up and is confronted by the guy who
came out if the trapdoor (same guy who murdered the old lady). The guy tells
him that he was also bit and it makes you do bad things. The only way out is by
killing yourself. Oh yeah, his eyes are completely black too. He runs away and
jumps off the church to his death. Biggest jump yet.
Jesse
and his cousin go down the trap door the next day. They find a bunch of
pictures of Jesse down there, including ones of his mom pregnant with him. A
random lady in a black (power) suit shows up but nothing happens. Jesse pulls
black strings out of his eyes and makes a scary face into the mirror really
fast. I don't like things with eyes.
They
go to the church jumpers house and see that he's been researching about kids
all over the world who are "marked" like him and Jesse. Later that
day, everyone is at the store and Jesse loses his cool on some guy. He freaks
out about not being able to be in control of himself later and tells the demon
to leave him alone through the Simon Ouija but is answered no. That night Jesse
hears his dog down the trapdoor. He goes down and finds two black eyed creepy
girls. He starts running away but a dark shape slams him down in the basement.
After a few tense moments, a thing jumps him with a demon like growl.
Jesse
is acting all bananas now. His cousin and friend go to a demon expert and learn
that Jesse was probably marked as a fetus by a coven called the midwives to be
possessed when he matured. The cousin comes home to see Jesse laughing
while his dog is pinned against then ceiling with mind powers I guess.
If
ever there was a time for a demon intervention aka exorcism, it's now. Grandma
starts saying some Spanish prayers when he freaks out and grabs her. All the
lights turn off so we're switched to night vision for a second. A corner of the
room looks like it's being sucked up with a vacuum when bam, Jesse and all of
the light reappears.
The
next morning, Jesse is still passed out from the previous nights activities so
grandma runs him a bath. The bath doesn't go great because Jesse pushes grandma
down the stairs, which creates pool of blood on the sidewalk around her head.
Bad Jesse! He then attacks his friends but gets kidnapped by the witches.
Jesse's
cousin, friend and two cholo gangstas find the house where the witches took him
and try to get him back. A few witches pop out at them and take shotgun shells
to their guts. They get separated so the friend (and us) is all alone. That
lasts for like a minute when the cousin blasts through the ceiling, dead and
witches are popping up all over the place. Monster Jesse chases the friend all
through the house and finally to a weird looking door. He enters it and finds
himself in the house from the first movie. Katie shows up and stabs Micah
again, while demon Jesse shows up again and kills the friend. The end.
Rating: 4.9 They tried in this one at least by tying the
ending in the all of the previous movies.
The acting might be at an all time worst in this one and that’s saying
something because usually these are D listers at best. I was going to say that it would probably be
cool if this was the last P.A. but it seems another is planned for 2015. I’ll probably see it and not really like it,
just like the other ones.
Favorite Scene: Walking through the church in the dark. Churches at night are spooky places.
Memorable Lines: 0
What I would’ve done as the main character: I’m not saying
that I believe in all the exorcism stuff, but I have enough doubt that I’m
trying not making portals to hell.
Instead maybe I would join an indoor soccer team. Much better character building and stronger
possibility to make not evil friends.
What happens in the sequel: Well the next one is called the
ghost dimension. It would please me very
much if they actually show a ghost dimension and not just say things are from
there. The budget for this one was only
5 mill so I can’t imagine it looking very good.
It could've just been a big dog
Ay Papi!
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