Time Spent Watching Movies

Time Spent Watching Movies 3 Days 14 Hours 23 Minutes

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Blair Witch Project October Movie #5 (Movie #90)


The Blair Witch Project (1999)


I haven’t always been a fan of horror movies.  At one time I was a child and I was afraid.  But things change and I outgrew this fear and now like to watch movies to be scared.  A big reason for this is that I stopped being an idiot and figured out movies aren’t real.  There is no way a vampire could ever try to woo me if they are made up.  This is all true except for one movie, the Blair Witch Project.  This movie came out when I was 10 and all I remember about it because I was too scared to look into it more was that I grew up only an hour from the haunted woods.  Thanks for letting 10 year old me know that dad.  HOW COULD YOU LET ME LIVE THAT CLOSE TO A WITCH?  Luckily I moved to Florida that year but I had a nightmare staying over at a friends house and I’m pretty sure that I saw something under their bed which all got tied back to me being haunted for leaving the witch.  Lastly, remember when I said I’m not an idiot anymore?  Well I was until now when I looked up the Blair witch legend to see that it was all made up for the movie and there was nothing to be afraid of the whole time.  Whoops.

 Evidence

The first five minutes or so of the movie are two people named Heather and Josh picking up a guy named Josh to go make a documentary about the Blair Witch urban legend.  They get a little background into the story and learn that a bunch of children died in the 40’s.  Some guy kidnapped seven kids and would walk them 2 by 2 into the basement of his cabin.  He would stand one of them in the corner, kill the other one and then kill the one in the corner too.  People say that he put them in the corner because he couldn’t take them looking at him during the murdering.

 All I do is whine

A little later they interview some crazy lady named Mary Brown.  She tells a story about how time she lied down while fishing with her dad in the woods and saw a witch hovering over the water.  She had hairy arms and was wearing a shawl and when she opened the shawl the rest of her was hairy too.  That is the end of their first day. 

The group gets out early the next day and head out hiking in the woods.  They come across two dudes fishing who tell them a tale.  A girl in the 1800’s got lost in the woods and showed back up 3 days later saying that she saw a woman who’s feet never hit the ground.  The other guy says he saw her standing out on the water once.  The film team departs from the fishing hole and heads to their first stop, Coffin Rock.  Heather tells another story of how five guys were tied together, eviscerated and had something written into their skin.  When the people who found them went back to bring the police to the scene, they found everything to be gone but vultures and the smell of flesh.  It rains and they set up camp for the night.  End of day 2.

When Josh wakes up the next morning, he tells everyone that he heard 2 different voices last night.  They hike towards their next destination and there is some grumbling from the two guys about being lost and their location on the map.  Heather tells them that they are heading for the cemetery and are 90 minutes away and Mike responds how do you know that because they haven’t seen any trails yet.  Randomly they come across seven piles of rocks in the woods (seven dead kids) and just assume that it’s some old Indian burial ground.  The three come back that night and someone knocks over one of the piles.  That night they all hear weird noises.

Before anything else is done the next day, the group has to discuss what they heard the night before.  Mike thinks that it’s the locals messing with them and it’s most not cool.  It is finally time for them to leave so they make their way back to the car with Heather plotting them out a shorter route than they arrived.  Night breaks and they haven’t made it back to the car yet much to the distress of the men and they set up camp.  They hear the same sounds from the previous night and decide to go out and have a look.  It’s pitch black and the it sounds like there are footsteps around them making this easily the most tense moment yet.  Nothing happens.

When they wake up the next morning, the campers find three rock piles circling their tent.  Metal.  On top of that, the map is missing which causes a three way meltdown.  Actually pretty much the whole rest of the movie is them melting down on each other.  Heather must’ve had enough with being blamed for their misfortune and starts blaming the dudes for taking the map.  Eventually Mike snaps and just laughs for like five minutes in a crazy way.  He confesses that it was he who threw the map in the creek yesterday because he thought it was useless.  More Chernobyl on Mike and straggling through the woods.  For people trying to get home, they sure do a lot of sitting down and complaining.

One of the cooler scenes is when the group comes to a section in the woods where there are a bunch of sticks tied together to look like people hanging from trees.  Like a lot them of all different sizes too.  Instead of doing what I might consider smart and getting the hell out of there, they decide to hang around and do some filming.  All of a sudden it’s nighttime.  Uh Oh.

 Back away quickly or linger around?  Decisions, decisions

Again they are awoken in the middle of the night and Heather is freaking out.  The noises are all around them and something starts shaking the tent.  Everyone cheeses it out of there and run into the dark woods.  I think I heard a baby scream but in the end nothing happens.  When they wake up the next morning Josh’s things are covered in some weird jelly.  They complain more and around dusk come to the same log that they passed early in the day.  Heather loses it and the two dudes are mad at her again.  Also, both guys suck and Heather is the only I don’t want to see die.

 How can she cry if she knows it isn't real?

Ending

The next morning Heather and Mike wake up to see that Josh is gone.  Perhaps he has turned completely to jelly.  The day after that they find a bunch sticks tied together with bloody clothes inside of it by their tent.  And with that we finally get to the last night.  There’s the scene where she says she’s sorry into the camera.  After walking around and hearing more sounds the two come to a sketchy run down looking house.  They hearing yelling inside and think its Josh.  Upstairs there are little handprints all over the wall.  Not good.  Now they hear the screaming from the basement.  Things are tense and right before they get to the basement my internet crapped out.  It finally came back on and she sees Mike standing in the corner just like in the story with the kids.  She completely loses, drops the camera and the movie ends.

The End

Favorite Scene: Tough to say.  The scene where they find all the sticks hanging from the tree I suppose

Memorable Lines: It’s a long one “I just want to apologize to Mike's mom, Josh's mom, and my mom. And I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive. I am so so sorry for everything that has happened. Because in spite of what Mike says now, it is my fault. Because it was my project and I insisted. I insisted on everything. I insisted that we weren't lost. I insisted that we keep going. I insisted that we walk south. Everything had to be my way. And this is where we've ended up and it's all because of me that we're here now - hungry, cold, and hunted. I love you mom, dad. I am so sorry. What is that? I'm scared to close my eyes; I'm scared to open them! We're gonna die out here!”

“Expert” Reviews: The experts seem to like it.

Rating: 6.9 Jawbreakers.  I feel completely different about this movie now than I did when I was watching it.  At the time I was tense and totally into it.  Now thinking back, it seemed like 2/3 of the movie was the three characters arguing and nothing really ever happened.  Still giving it a high rating because it was a fun ride but there isn’t any rewatch value here.

Alternate Ending: Apparently four alternate endings were released on the 10-year anniversary version of the movie.  Would rather you watch those than read something dumb here.

What I would do if I was the main character: Keep my head.  Then probably pray a lot.

What happens in the sequel: Not sure if I want to watch the sequel.  It has mediocre ratings.  Maybe next year.

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1 comment:

  1. wow, imagine that a movie based on fiction... wow it's like a story for 'entertainment purposes only' who'da thought!?!!

    ReplyDelete