The ABC’s of Death (2012)
This review is going to be different. This movie is made of 26 different short
stories, each starting with a letter of the alphabet. Instead of writing a summary of each movie,
I’m going to rank them. Simple enough?
Kind of Gross
Awful Segments
26. M is for
Miscarriage – Would’ve thought West would have the best movie not the worst
25. L is for
Libido – I like watching a movie about a dude being forced to yank it as much
as the next guy but when children are involved its hard to not be sickened.
24. P is for
Pressure – The story wasn’t ridiculously awful but it turned for the worse when
animal torture was involved.
23. Z is for
Zetsumetsu – Not even boobs could save this lame Dr. Strangelove parody.
Stupid Wastes of
Time
22. Y is for Youngbuck - I liked the different
style but hated the story
21. K is for Klutz – Death by poop, real mature
20. J is for Jadai-Geki
– Truly a waste of time
19. G is for Gravity – Like the angles but there
is 0 story in this segment
At Least They Tried
18. H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion: Tried to
be funny but it was just really offsetting. Fox boobs (worse than it sounds).
17. O is for Orgasm – Trippy. Boobs though.
16. R is for Removed – Started out really bloody
and confusing. Cool shootout. Ended confusing
15. I is for Ingrown – Tried too hard to seem
deep. Letter doesn’t even make sense.
14. C is for Cycle – I’m a fan of time travel stories
but this one is dumb.
13. E is for Exterminate – Something was cheerful
about this.
12. T is for Toilet – Out of all the words they
could’ve picked, the director chose toilet
Watchable
11. B is for Bigfoot – Started out promising but
ending was kind of unexplained
10. N is for Nuptials – Funny but I’ve seen
something similar before.
9. A is for Apocalypse – Not quite sure what was
going on but it looked cool.
8. X is for XXL – Gory but at least it had a
point
7. D is for Dogfight – Not amazing. Was rooting for the dog.
Not Great Still But
Enjoyable
6. W is for WTF! – Made me laugh. Just like quack but not as good.
5. F is for Fart – I’m immature so at least this
one made me laugh at the end.
4. S is for Speed – This one actually was
clever.
3. V is for Vagitus – Children of Men meets
Robocop meets Judge Dredd. Not as good
as any but was still entertaining.
2. U is for Unearthed – I always wanted to see
things from a vampire’s point of view.
1. Q is for Quack – It was simple and smart for
this kind of project.
Rating: 4.0 Smarties. There isn’t a single segment in here that
makes this must watch. Some are decent
but most are really bad. A few made me
turn it off. If you do have to watch it,
start at Q.
On to the next.
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