Time Spent Watching Movies

Time Spent Watching Movies 3 Days 14 Hours 23 Minutes

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The ABC's of Death October Movie #6 (Movie #91)


The ABC’s of Death (2012)


This review is going to be different.  This movie is made of 26 different short stories, each starting with a letter of the alphabet.  Instead of writing a summary of each movie, I’m going to rank them.  Simple enough?



Kind of Gross Awful Segments

26. M is for Miscarriage – Would’ve thought West would have the best movie not the worst

25. L is for Libido – I like watching a movie about a dude being forced to yank it as much as the next guy but when children are involved its hard to not be sickened.

24. P is for Pressure – The story wasn’t ridiculously awful but it turned for the worse when animal torture was involved.

23. Z is for Zetsumetsu – Not even boobs could save this lame Dr. Strangelove parody.


Stupid Wastes of Time

22.  Y is for Youngbuck - I liked the different style but hated the story

21.  K is for Klutz – Death by poop, real mature

20. J is for Jadai-Geki – Truly a waste of time

19.  G is for Gravity – Like the angles but there is 0 story in this segment


At Least They Tried


18.  H is for Hydro-Electric Diffusion: Tried to be funny but it was just really offsetting.  Fox boobs (worse than it sounds).

17.   O is for Orgasm – Trippy.  Boobs though.

16.  R is for Removed – Started out really bloody and confusing.  Cool shootout.  Ended confusing

15.  I is for Ingrown – Tried too hard to seem deep.  Letter doesn’t even make sense.

14.  C is for Cycle – I’m a fan of time travel stories but this one is dumb.

13.  E is for Exterminate – Something was cheerful about this.

12.  T is for Toilet – Out of all the words they could’ve picked, the director chose toilet


Watchable


11.  B is for Bigfoot – Started out promising but ending was kind of unexplained

10.  N is for Nuptials – Funny but I’ve seen something similar before.

9.  A is for Apocalypse – Not quite sure what was going on but it looked cool.

8.  X is for XXL – Gory but at least it had a point

7.  D is for Dogfight – Not amazing.  Was rooting for the dog.


Not Great Still But Enjoyable


6.  W is for WTF! – Made me laugh.  Just like quack but not as good.

5.  F is for Fart – I’m immature so at least this one made me laugh at the end.

4.  S is for Speed – This one actually was clever.

3.  V is for Vagitus – Children of Men meets Robocop meets Judge Dredd.  Not as good as any but was still entertaining.

2.  U is for Unearthed – I always wanted to see things from a vampire’s point of view.

1.  Q is for Quack – It was simple and smart for this kind of project.


Rating: 4.0 Smarties.  There isn’t a single segment in here that makes this must watch.  Some are decent but most are really bad.  A few made me turn it off.  If you do have to watch it, start at Q.

On to the next.

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