Candy and a Movie: Movie #51 X-Men First Class

X-Men First Class (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1270798/

Vietnam becomes country number 48 to view. Also, don’t know if I have mentioned this site before but check out http://www.icheckmovies.com/ . It’s a really cool site that tracks the movies you have seen. It’s fun to go through and check them off. Even better though, it lets you know a ton of movies that you may never had heard off. Plus we can be friends on there and check out what we’ve each seen. My username on there is dannyferreira.

Unlike the last two super hero movies, this one I had actually seen before. I thought it was pretty good but didn’t remember a ton about it. In fact all that I remember was 1) being surprised who the bad guy was because I didn’t think he would be in the movie, 2) thought the guy who played Magneto was a good actor (and is because he has been casted in a ton of movies lately. 10 in the last 3 years) and 3) the way Charles gets paralyzed isn’t how it really happens but I liked the way they did it.

Like at least one of the X-Men movies from the last series, the very first scene of this movie takes place in a rainy concentration camp with a young Magneto (just Erik for now) being separated from his parents. He reaches out for them and pulls a metal fence with his metal moving powers. Meanwhile, in 1944 New York, a kid wakes up in the middle of the night and sees his mom in the kitchen. He says who are you because my mom’s never been in a kitchen. The mom turns into a little blue girl. They become buddies.

Back in Germany, we see who of a people but Kevin Bacon. He is a high up Nazi and brings in Erik for questioning. I’m guessing that he just wants to see his parents. I say I’m guessing because somehow I got the movie without subtitles and they are speaking German. I kind of remember what happened though. Basically Bacon (named Schmidt to Germans and Sebastian Shaw to everyone else but I like Bacon) puts a coin on the table and says move it with your powers. Erik can’t. Bacon says that maybe he needs to be motivated so he brings in Erik’s mom and points a gun at her. Counts down to three and says he will shoot her if the coin hasn’t moved. Bacon gets to zero, shoots the mom, and Erik loses it. He squishes the metal helmets of other Nazi’s and flips metal tables. He doesn’t do anything to bacon though which he probably could’ve. At least I would have.

Skip forward to 1962 Switzerland and a handsome, grown up Magneto is lying in a bed, wearing a robe or something. I never cared for the name Magneto. Dr. Magnets, Mr. Magnetitzky or Magnet Von Magnetstein. Anyway serious dramatic music is playing and he is staring at picture of Bacon. Dude wants his revenge. The kid from the kitchen was Charles Xavier (Professor X) who is also grown up and attending Oxford with his sister, who is also the girl from The Hunger Games. He tries to work his game on a local chick at a bar. He go full nerd right away and it somehow works. Has to be a movie. The sister gets annoyed and leaves with Charles. Goes into how it’s easy for him to be a mutant because he looks normal. She however, looks like a monster. Back to Magneto and the dramatic music. He’s speaking French which means again, I don’t know what he’s saying. Looks like he’s hunting down former Nazi’s. Goes to this banker and tries to get info about Bacon from him (probably). Pulls the guys silver fillings out of his teeth as a way to get him to talk. It was cool.

Now we jump to Las Vegas where CIA agent Moira McTaggart (who I’m a fan of) is looking for commies. She is looking for something called the Hellfire club too in a casino. That requires her to get into lingerie like 30 seconds (which I’m also a fan of) when she slips in undercover as one of the floozies there. She is investigating some U.S colonel and she spots him talking to who else but Kevin Bacon. The guy is everywhere. One of the people with Bacon makes a tornado in his hand that knocks back the colonel. There is also a chick that is a telepath like Charles but can also turn her skin diamond. Her name is Emma Frost. The last guy with him is the red demon looking guy who can teleport. His name is Azazel but the way Bacon says it makes it sound like Miss Hazel so that’s what I’m calling him. Miss Hazel teleports the colonel away somewhere. Moira is of course shocked seeing all of these mutant abilities for the first time. When she leaves, she tells her partner that she needs to find an expert on genetic mutation. McTaggart goes to Oxford, talks to Charles and gets her expert.

The colonel and Bacon meet again. This time we see what his mutant power is. He can absorb energy and then reemit it back. That means the colonel threatening Bacon with a grenade will backfire (see what I did there?). After that, Charles gives the CIA a demonstration on his powers which scares most of them but one guy loves it. With him they create a new mutant division.

Magneto finds Bacon’s boat and makes a go at him one night. Emma drops loud noise in his brain causing him to fall off the ship. At the same time, the CIA makes their own attack against the ship. The tornado guy is aboard and makes water spirals taking out most of their men. Magneto picks up the ships anchor and heavy chain and just starts wrecking Bacon’s giant yacht. It’s very impressive. Luckily Bacon has a sub built into the bottom of it and gets away. Charles and Magneto meet for the first time.

The two of them together go back to their new CIA base and meet Hank McCoy. He is a mutant too. His ability is that he has big ugly gorilla looking hands for feet that he can use to jump high, hang off things, and run fast. The blue chick is way into him. She should be because they are both monsters. They start talking one day and he is fascinated with her. Says he wants to “work on her genes” but you know he really wants to “work off her jeans”. Ya I took the easy road on that but so what. He takes some of her blood. It’s not hot and shouldn’t set things off but they both go in for a kiss. Then Magneto walks in. If I was McCoy I would’ve said “MAGNETO, NICE TO SEE YOU. THANKS FOR STOPPING IN” really sarcastically. He tells her that she is beautiful the way she is and shouldn’t change a thing. Something is going to be up between them. Magneto starts to leave and Charles stops him. They chat and get on the same page. The first thing that they do is try and recruit some new mutants.

First chick they talk to is a stripper who has wings. She’s a stripper though so who cares about what’s on her back, I’m sure most people only want to see what’s on her front. They offer her a job where she can keep her clothes on. The next two people that they talk to are a black dude driving a cab and some young punk in juve. After that they pick up this ugly dude in an aquarium. The last guy that they go to see is Wolverine in a bar (Hugh Jackman) who tells them to “F*%# off”. The theater went nuts at that when I saw it.

All the new recruits are pretty young and meet for the first time at the base. The blue chick now wants to be called mystique. The black guy is named Darwin. He can grow gills and a tough skin. The ugly kid is named Banshee and he can do a really annoying loud scream. The stripper is named Angel. There is another Angel with wings in X-Men but he’s a dude and a rich one who doesn’t need to strip so I’m guessing that this is a new character. The punk is named Alex (Havoc) and he can throw fire laser disks. The punk says that McCoy’s name should be big foot. Funny.

They go on their first mission to get Bacon at a Russian base. He isn’t there but Frost still is. That’s good enough for Magneto who still goes after her even though the mission is called off. Frost seduces the Russian general while Magneto uses his powers to tie dudes up with barbed wire and disassemble their guns. Emma is looking very good in this scene. Magneto and Charles burst in to their room and tie Emma up. Charles then reads her mind about Bacon wanting to kill all humans so there’s only humans left. It’s right after this scene, I took a Taco Bell break.

Now full on Taco’s, we get back to the kids again. Bacon shows up, kills a bunch of CIA agents and tells the kid mutants to join him or die. The stripper, Angel, joins him. I didn’t want to say anything, but I knew that she was a ho all along and she proved it. Darwin tries to save her while Havoc wrecks the others but it doesn’t work. Darwin gets killed. Yes, they did kill the black guy first if you’re wondering. Bacon goes back to Russia and basically engineers the Cold War to become a full on war because he wants humans to kill each other making his take over easier.

Back in America, Magneto comes home and says that they can avenge Darwin. The next 20 minutes is spent showing all of the mutants training and growing their powers. I forgot to mention that Magneto has been wearing a turtleneck for 2/3 of the movie so far and rocks it like only few still can. The only power I would have wearing a turtleneck is the power to not make new friends. Magneto can pick up cars. Mystique and McCoy have a fight when he comes up with a way to make them look normal. Because of Magneto, she doesn’t want to change anymore. Mistake. McCoy goes ahead and injects himself. Ends up turning himself into a big, hairy blue monster. Meanwhile, Mystique sneaks into Magneto’s room and gets all naked under his covers. First she looks like her human form and then like Rebecca Romijn who played the same characters in the last movie. Magneto says he likes her real form better and she turns blue. That guy’s nuts bring back Rebecca.

BIG FIGHT SPOILER

The next day is the big naval/beginning of the war fight. Basically Bacon rigs things to pop off and Charles stops them. They then try to find Magneto’s sub. Banshee goes underwater and uses his screaming as sonar. He finds it and Magneto carries it out of the water onto the beach. Pretty cool looking. It then becomes a show down between the two mutant teams with the X-Men winning most of the skirmishes. Magneto gets Bacon’s helmet off and Charles freezes his mind. Magneto then slowly uses his powers to press the coin from the beginning through Bacon’s head killing him. Metal (boom).

Bacon is dead but the battle isn’t over. USA and Russia both team up in fear against the mutants and attack them with a buttload of missiles. Magneto catches all off them and starts to send them back when Charles interferes. They fight. Moira starts shooting at Magneto and one of the bullets ricochets into Charles. Magneto then pulls a Bacon saying who wants to join me can. All of Bacon’s people plus Mystique go with him. Charles is paralyzed. Him and Moira kiss but it’s pretty weak. The last things to happen are Charles wipes out her memory and Magneto gets a new, sweet costume”.

THERE’S THAT

Favorite Scene : When Magneto is still looking for Bacon, he makes a stop in Argentina to take out more Nazi’s. He goes into a little bar and sees a picture with the three guys in there standing next to Bacon. He talks to them in Spanish so I don’t know what he’s saying. What I do know is that he is super serious and those dudes are in for a beating. He starts talking in German and the dramatic music turns on. The Nazi’s get tense and pull out a knife when he shows them his concentration camp tattoo. Magneto quickly grabs the knife and stabs though the guys hand into the table. Awesome. The bartender then pulls out a gun and points it at him. Magneto uses his power to have him point it at the third guy and shoot. Awesomer. He then quickly pulls the knife out of the guys hand and table, throws it at the bartender killing him, uses his power to have the knife come back to his hand and stabs through the hand into the table. Awesomest. Then he shoots that guy.

Favorite Lines : “Listen to me very carefully, my friend; killing will not bring me peace. Peace was never an option.”

“Let’s just say that I’m Frankenstein’s monster and I’m looking for my creator.

Rating : 7.5 Gobstoppers. I liked the movie, especially Magneto. The budget was like 160 mill so it definitely at least looks nice. All of the X-Men movie’s showed old Magneto and Professor X. It was nice to see them young.

Alternate Ending : Aliens come and paralyze Charles just like it happens in the comics, by dropping a giant stone on his legs.

What I would do if I was the main character : If I was Charles, wipe out only Moira’s mutant memories and leave the rest because she was definitely into him. If I was Magneto then I’d tell Mystique that she always looks beautiful but looks especially beautiful when she is in Emma Watson form. If you really wanted to impress me, then you would look like that more often.

What happens in the sequel : One will be coming out in 2014ish. I’m guess Magneto will be doing something to the humans and Charles will have to stop him. Hopefully they’ll be some other bad guys. Maybe a Mr. Sinister or Apocalypse. More of the famous X-Men will probably show up too.