Candy and a Movie: Movie #50 Captain America

Captain America (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458339/

Slight change of plans, Captain America comes before X-Men First Class. It happens. The Avengers comes out Friday so I still have plenty of time to geek out until then. I'm not sure if I really liked this movie or I just didn't care for Thor and it made it look better. Who knows? Maybe I will by the end of this but for now, here's the story. Oh and there are about 1,338,299,512 people living in China. Thank you to the one person who finally gave me a view there.

The movie starts off somewhere really cold. It probably said where but I think I was getting a drink or something and missed it but we are looking at like polar bear cold. A bunch of scientists are inspecting something frozen in the ice. Looks like plane but it's hard to tell. What is easy to see is that Captain America's famous shield is in there.

That was quick, we now skip to 1942 full on WWII Norway. A bulldozer knocks over the wall of a building and the bad guy from The Matrix walks into the newly opened hole. He is looking for some power thingy. My brother said it's the same thing from the end of Thor but I just can't trust that guy with something like this. Matrix guy is talking in a full on fake German accent and it's pretty rough. Just cast a German guy or something instead. Anyway he finds the box and it does look like the thing from Thor so maybe the kid was right. He takes the power thing and kills everyone in the room establishing is bad guyness.

Jump again now to New York at the same time and we meet the scrawny Steve Rogers. It's almost creepy how puny the guy looks. He is at the movie theater and takes a beating for telling a guy to shut it. Good for him though. Movie shows us that he's a tough guy on the inside because he keeps getting up to take his beating. That night he goes on a kind of double date with his best bud Bucky Barnes. Most people would think that anyone over the age of 8 would stop going by Bucky but apparently not this guy. Neither chick is into Steve and it's not their fault, there isn't much there to like without getting to know him. One thing about Steve is that he keeps trying to enlist in the army but they medically don't accept him. He breaks off from the date to try it again under a different name. Right after getting his physical, Stanley Tucci (who has been creepily watching him) walks into his room. He is a German scientist who works for the US army now and has a much more tolerable accent. Tucci asks Rogers if he wants to kill Nazi's and his response was no but I don't like bullies. Tucci takes a liking to him and lets him join.

While Agent Smith (Schmidt in this movie) is doing experiments with his new limitless power cube thing, Steve starts boot camp. His drill instructor is Tommy Lee Jones and there is a british chick who also seems to be in charge but still under Jones. Babe. Jones says that they are training super soldiers. They get into showing the drills and Steve sucks at almost everything but every once in a while thinks smart not hard and comes out on top. Tucci shows up with Jones and they chat about Steve. They need to find someone to do something to them (probably make them super strong) and Tucci wants Steve. Jones is your classic army guy and thinks don't pick that wimp, take the already strongest guy instead. As a test, Jones throws out a grenade in front of the soldiers. Everyone scampers except Rogers who throws himself on top of it. Grenade was a fake and he passed the test. The night before the big experiment, Steve and Tucci have a chat. Tucci tells of how he tried this experiment on Schmidt and it went bad because the serum that they inject you with amplifies what's inside of you. If you are good then it makes you great, if you are bad than it makes you evil. Tucci finishes by making promise that whatever happens, he will stay the same (in his mind). Aww.

Little scene of Schmidt who is holding a picture of Tucci at his current U.S location. Looks like he put a hit on. It's the day of experiment and Tony Stark's dad is the one who built the machine that will do the injecting. Pretty cool. They do everything and Steve comes out jacked. One of the dudes there who had been watching and looking sketchy the whole time pulls out a gun and kills Tucci. Right as he was becoming a little father figure for Steve too. Rogers is pissed and chases after the guy. It becomes his first test to see if the steroids worked. Oh and the british chick is a sharpshooter and shoots bad guys in the face without a care, +1 to her rating. Steve runs at probably at least 35mph (700,000 kph) and can jump from car to moving car so he is pretty super human now. The bad guy jumps in a mini sub and starts to get away and I thought there was no way that he would be caught but sure enough Steve swam down there and got him. Rogers pulls him out, the guy says he works for Hydra and then poisons himself to death.

Some of Hitler's men show up at Schmidt's base and say that they are pulling his funding because of the lack of results. Schmidt tells them that he has the power of the God's (that power box thing was Odin's I guess), shoots them with this blue laser gun and they die. My brother and I got into a little debate about what happens when you get shot by the gun. At first I thought maybe they disintegrated but then it looked more like a vaporizing. Their molecules definitely got demolecularized, I do know that. The laser was possibly a phaser though. In the future, I'll just say they got shot with the blue gun because it happens a lot. Schmidt says that Hydra could hide under Hitler's shadow for only so long and they were ready to move forward.

Back to America and Jones still doesn't think Rogers is ready for Europe and doesn't take him on his mission. The governor from New Jersey I think tells Steve to start working burlesque shows or musicals to sell war bonds as Captain America. He does that and becomes a success getting into movies and stuff like that. He goes to Europe to do like a USO show for the troops and they laugh him off the stage because they think that he's a big joke. The british chick is there wearing some serious red lipstick that I doubt is army issued. He can't take being a clown anymore and when he hears that his bud Bucky and a bunch of other soldiers have been captured 30 miles away only to have Jones give up on them, he decides to do something about it. That something would be to get in a plane with the brit, flown by papa Stark over enemy airspace which he jumps out of.

All of that means it's time for the first real fight scene. He does some damage and gets to the soldiers. Neil Mcdonough who I like but has been in some crap movies is in there as Dum Dum Dugan which I was stoked to see. They all get out. Schmidt, who was the one who caught them, see's that it's Cap there rescuing them and hits the bases self destruct button. Of course the evil lair has one of those. Cap gets Bucky out and comes face to face with Schmidt who finally takes off his mask to reveal that he is Captain America's big enemy, the Red Skull. They fight a little and see evenly matched. Not much though, both go their own ways out of the exploding building. Cap goes back to the base with the rescued soldiers. He seems to have won the respect of the other men, including Jones, and the eye of the british lady. Win Win.

Just like when he jumped on the grenade in the beginning, coming back after completing a mission by himself was a turning point. He was now Jones' go to guy and we get to see a montage of battles that he's won. Rogers got to pick his own personal team that does most of the damage and boy is it diverse. A french guy, an Asian, a black dude, a brit, Bucky and Dugan. Just about covers everyone. They are all drinking at a pub one night and the british chick(I really would use her name if it was memorable or something) walks in wearing a red dress to go with the lipstick now. She and Rogers makes plans. Way to go America. Then when he is waiting for him, some other pretty hot army chick makes a move on Steve and kisses him. Of course it's at the same time that the brit walks in. I don't think she should be mad though. She knew that he's never gotten anywhere with a lady and after they made him into this fine specimen of man, you can't expect him to fight off chicks coming on to him. She's being selfish. Anyway, nothing really comes of it so it's not a big deal. More montage time and my brother actually added something useful saying that these scenes were pretty much made for the 3D viewers because of the way that they are shot.

One mission involves Bucky and Steve zip-lining on to a train. It ends up being a trap and they get separated. You think that it's ok and they've won but Bucky falls out of the train to his death. It's sad but I knew enough about Cap already that it was going to happen. Bucky hadn't been in the movie a whole lot so I don't think that made him as important as he really was because they were going to kill him off.

They capture Red Skull's head scientist who tells them that the big invasion is planned for tomorrow. Steve is still bumming about Bucky but when he hears that America is in trouble, he bucks up. Get it? Bucks up. Oh boy.

THE INVASION

Cap goes in solo and takes out a few guys including one guy with the Wilhelm scream (youtube it if you don't know what I'm talking about) but gets captured. He didn't put up much of a fight so it looks like that might've been the plan. Forgot to say that another 3D scene takes place when he is on his rocket firing motorcycle. It was part of the plan because now the army is in the place and they are totally taking it over. Red Skull heads for a plane with the bombs on it while Cap, Jones and the Brit all chase. Right before Cap jumps on to the plane the brit gives him a smooch and he's off. They fight, the power box thing comes loose and Red Skull gets teleported somewhere when he grabs it. He gets on the radio and talks to the Brit. Says that he can't land the plane and it's full of bombs so he's going to crash it into the ocean. They chat as he's going down. She cries and says meet me in a week to go dancing. He says it's a date and gets cut off as he crashes down. Pretty sad. Instead of crashing into the water, Cap made the gutsy choice of a glacier. Can't say that I would've done the same.

Anyway the allies win the war and Stark finds the power box. They don't find Cap for 70 years who was just frozen, not dead. The chick is bummed and the movie ends.

After a few credits it shows Cap asleep in a bed. He wakes up and realizes that he isn't in a hospital and breaks out. Nick Fury shows up and gives him the news about it being the future. He asks Cap if he's ok. He says ya, he just missed a date. Sad.

Favorite Scene : Hmm. I think it's when Jones pronounces him and the rest of the soldiers dead seconds before they all stroll back into the base. It was baller and also from then on he was the strong and established Captain America, there was no more waiting.

Favorite Lines : “How do you feel? Taller”

“I'm not kissing you”

“Is it permanent? So far”

What is this? Steak. What's in it? Cow”

Rating : 7.3 Red White and Blue Rocket Pops. Went with a popsicle instead of candy this time, I think it should be allowed. Lot of things I liked about this movie. Tucci, Jones, Stark, British chick and Dugan were all really good. Captain America himself didn't exactly stand out but was good enough. Red Skull could've been better. My dad saw this movie before me and said that he didn't like it because of the ending. Now I know what he meant. It has to be that way though because that's what happens to Cap in the comics. Just way better than Thor. There are some many things that I could question like why did it take so long to fly him and he is the only person who got the super serum, why didn't anyone find Tucci's formula because you knew he had one but that's a discussion for nerd's at a later date.

Alternate Ending : THIS IS ALL REVERSE SPOILERS. If I say that he makes it home and gets the girl then you'll know that he didn't. Usually I would say everyone dies or Hydra wins because I want to be edgy or something but the happy ending would not have been bad. If it ended that way though it would've been like every other movie ever so I like the real one better.

What I would've done if I was the main character : First off, I would've been a better sell out. Skip the live musical performances and go straight for the talkies. There you only have to perform once and they can replay it plus you don't have to be on the road the whole time. Secondly, I would've used that sweet mega motorcycle the every time. That thing brought the thunder. Lastly I would've known that I was Captain America and what more could the British chick wanted and made a move, not wait for her to 10 minutes before the movie was over.

What happens in the sequel : The actual sequel is planned to come out in 2014 but with the the world ending later this year, we won't be getting to see it. MORE SPOILERS My sequel is Cap struggling to adapt to modern technology. His banana fingers keep hitting return instead of space on his iphone. His netbook gets a virus and he was too stupid to have his data backed up. Stuff like that over two hours. It will suck.