Candy and a Movie: Movie # 28 Detachment

Detachment (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1683526/

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Luckily I watched Godzilla in between this movie and Last Train Home because it could have been sadness overload. This movie is really solid, just heavy and harsh. Definitely be ready for it if you plan on watching. First thing to take note of is that there are a butt load of actors in Detachment, most with minor roles. Adrian Brody plays the lead, a substitute teacher. James Caan, the hot ginger from Mad Men, Lucy Lui, Gil Grissom from CSI, Marcia Gay Harden and Isaiah Whitlock Jr. all work in some way for the school. Bryan Cranston is also the principal's (Harden) husband.

Worst part of the movie is probably the first few minutes. It's just a bunch of teachers talking about how they became a teacher. The scene just went for way too long I thought and I started to get bored. Finally be get some Brody. Like I said he is a substitute teacher and gets called in to work at a pretty rough school. Marcia Gay Harden is the school principal and gets a call telling her either to retire at the end of the year or be fired. I've never been fired but I'm guessing it sucks. Is that going out on a limb? Finally we make our way into a classroom and some teacher is yelling at the students to shut up. I thought it was funny. I always took honors classes so we behaved for the most part.

Henry Barthes' (Brody and the es is silent) class clearly isn't an honors course. I must say it is only his first scene and he is already dropping some serious acting. One kid acts tough and gets kicked out. Another threatens Barthes but he isn't phased and the kid backs down. In between scenes there are these like interview cuts spliced in. Scene- Brody cut away aside – scene – aside, etc. I really adds to the movie. The hot ginger (Ging) gets spit on and suspends the student. Who would want to spit on a face like hers? The school blows is what I am getting at.

To give Barthes character more depth, they now introduce a side story dealing with his grandfather who has Alzheimer's. Barthes gets a call in the middle of the night that his grandfather is locked in bathroom and his assistance is needed to get him out. He takes a bus to the kind of retirement home and gets his grandfather out. Right before he leaves, he snaps really harshly at the receptionist to do her job so he doesn't have to come down there. He expects to just jump on an elevator but it takes a while to get to him so he is stuck in an awkward moment with the lady he just chewed out. He takes a bus back home and it's just him, a guy sitting in the back and a hooker giving that guy's dingdong a hug with her mouth. Awkward moment x2. The guy then hits the hooker (who looks like Justin Bieber and that is what she will be referred to from now on) and she gets mad at Barthes for not rescuing her,

Back to the school and now we see James Caan with crazy old guy hair talking to kids. I think he was the assistant principal. Lucy Lui is the guidance counselor and just walks by with no lines. It's starting to get weird that all these well known actors are just really, really small background characters. She starts talking to a troubled teen and shows her what gonorrhea looks like. I didn't like that part. Barthes goes back to visit his grandfather after school and the camera shows his fully nude grandmother. I hated that part. What a horror. The grandfather tells Barthes that when he stops visiting, he'll die. Whoa, no pressure. On the way home, Barthes bumps into Bieber again. She asks him if he'll give her money to get food because she's hungry and he invites her over and says he might have something for her there. I've seen a lot already and I am praying that what he has for her isn't his frank n beans because she is way too young for that. In the end he cleans her up and gives her a place to stay. Phew.

Next day of school opens up with a pretty solid fight. We see Liu again and I've never been a huge fan of hers but she is looking pretty solid in this. Barthes walks into the gym and a group of kids is circling around a kid punching his book bag. It's really weird. He breaks up the group and then sees that the kid has beat to death a cat. At least it wasn't a dog right? Just kidding, I like cats too would definitely smash a dude up if I saw him doing that. Street justice! He gets taken to Lui the counselor and she basically tells him “sorry, all you have to look forward to now is turning into a serial killer”. Barthes leaves school and heads back to his apartment. He walks in on the Bieber speaking into a guys mic again. Don't try and picture it.

There is only one student that the movie keeps coming back to. She is a bigger girl with a perm. Her nickname is going to be Valderrama after the Colombian soccer player, not the actor. They really do look a lot alike http://img.ezinemark.com/imagemanager2/files/2010_re/2010-08-28-22-59-24-1-c8_1.jpeg. She has been just taking pictures throughout the movie and we see that they aren't bad. She gets no love from her dad however who wishes she could be more normal. Another occurrence throughout the movie is Barthes getting these weird flashes of something bad from his past. You might call them flashes of a flashback. You can't see enough to make out what they are, all you know is that it isn't good.

At this point in the movie it feel like forever since I've seen Ging and I really miss her. There is a random monologue rant that is played and it ends with Hitler. It's never good to end with Hitler. The movie now gets super preachy for like five minutes on how kids are too worried about being cool and not studying. The you are set up to fail with the current school system. I say chill out Barthes, I just want to find out what happened in your flashback and make eyes at Ging. Speaking of Ging, she is finally back and even goes out to dinner with Barthes. At the same time, Bieber has seemed to turn a corner and makes dinner for Barthes, thinking he would be home after school. Ging and Barthes kiss and he goes home to a disappointed Bieber. I feel bad for the girl, but I'm having dinner with Ging 100 out of 100 times even if I knew you cooked for me. Bieber has clearly fallen him though.

Time for Brian Cranston's one scene. He is at home (where is has made an awful wallpaper choice) and drops serious sarcasm on his principal wife. The movie skips around to all of the teachers home lives and they all suck expect Barthes', who now has his own former hooker cook. One day he takes Bieber to get tested and it's safe to assume that she has something bad or it wouldn't be in the movie. That does not please me. Skip back to grandfather and just everything involving him is really sad. Teleport back to Bieber and Barthes who are having some great quality time.

Liu's third scene in like a hour involves her snapping at a girl. For how good she was looking before, her frustrated face is scary. Caan walks in and calms her down.

I'M CHOOSING NOW TO START SPOILERS

Barthes gets called back down to his grandfathers. It ends up he's dying. Bieber doesn't know Barthes phone number and spent the whole day with grandfather waiting for Barthes. She has turned into a giant sweetheart by the way. Barthes tells Bieber about his mother dying from an overdose after getting into something with his grandfather. It's just more sadness.

Back at school again and Valderrama finally gets her big acting scene. After class she comes up to Barthes and breaks down crying. All she needs is for someone to notice that she's alive. She goes to hug him and Ging walks in think she's seen something inappropriate going down. Valderrama runs away and Barthes loses it to Ging, throwing desks and the works. Hey you don't yell at her like that! For everything that was going good for Barthes, it now sucks. That day his grandfather dies and now this. Adrian Brody tears are officially flowing.

Just when things are bad enough, there is a knock at the door the next day and two people from social services or something come in to take Bieber away. She puts up a huge fight and ends up yelling “I love you” as they drag her away. This is probably sad climax. More bad stuff happens but just when I like Bieber, they take her away. It's for her own good but not for my own good so come on Detachment, let her stay. It's parents night at school and no one shows up. The people call back with Bieber's test results and it isn't good.

It is now Barthes' last day subbing. Valderrama makes cupcakes and you just feel like something isn't right. Either the one she made for herself or the ones for everyone else are poisoned or full of razor blades or full of her own hair. It won't end well. It ends up being hers and whatever poison she used, it made her mouth bleed a lot. I bet she used baking soda instead of baking powder, classic mistake. Also could have been bleach but I'm not sure because I'm not much of a baker. Valderrama dies and I wrote down that Ging is a babe so she must still be looking good through all of this. You could say Valderrama's suicide is her fault because Barthes was going to give her the help she needed before she butted in but that's not fair.

Two more scenes. Barthes talks about the Fall of the House of Usher in the school that looks trashed. It was pretty cool. Then he visits Bieber in her foster home and they kind of hug but it isn't closure. The end,

Favorite Scene : Grandfather's death is probably the best. I think this is my longest post yet and I'm keeping things short.

Favorite Quotes : “Some of us believe that we can make a difference, and then sometimes we wake up and then realized we failed”

“The worst thing about this job is that nobody says thank you”

Rating : 7.5 twix. Acting is top notch. If it wasn't so preachy at times I would throw on the other half but it was noticeable. I was expecting this to be one of those movies where the teacher is given a new, bad class, has the whole “how can I reach these kids” section, and then everyone comes together and aces the test. Absolutely did not happen, Definitely watch this though, just have something happy to watch on queue for after

Alternate Ending : Everybody lives and everybody is happy. Bieber says I love you like a father and Barthes adopts her. Yay.

What I would do if I was the main character: Most of it involves ginger. I like a lot of what Barthes did in the classroom because he had to be tough with them. I would've beat the cat killer and then have the kids read Harry Potter 5 instead of 1984.

What happens in the sequel : We find out the test results of Bieber's test and she had too much testosterone. Barthes gets Alzheimer's and Bieber takes care of him. Barthes thinks that she is Taylor Hanson the whole time.