Candy and a Movie: Movie #35 Contagion

Contagion (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1598778/

You should probably wash your hands before reading this and then wash them again before everything else you do. Especially you South Korea, South Africa and Hungary who are new to the blog.

So Contagion was a movie that I've wanted to see for a while. The story of an epidemic isn't exactly novel but there were a lot of solid actors so usually that means the movie will be good. Unless it's Oceans 13. All I can say about the opening scenes of the movie is that Gwyneth Paltrow isn't looking so good. A lot of people aren't looking so hot and it's not all because of the sickness. There are some really not so great looking people getting sweaty all over the world meaning that the illness must be in it's early stages. As we'll learn later, Paltrow is the exception, but most good looking famous people won't be sick for a while because they can afford more health stuff than the poor ugly people. What I'm getting at is the people open to get a disease get a disease.

Matt Damon is an actor that I like. Hopefully someday I'll have a cat named Cat Damon. He is married to Paltrow and seems to be ground zero for the sickness because now his son is sick. Gwyneth has gone from looking rough to looking like death. She kind of has a seizure and is pronounced dead at the hospital. Whoa, that didn't take long. Matt Damon is not stoked with the doctors, which is understandable. Then his kid dies but he still hasn't gotten sick. Why cruel world?!?

The person to find out what is going on is the french chick from Inception. She is a good actress and probably could've used a bigger role in here. Orantes (french chick) is sent to Hong Kong which is where people believe the virus may have been formed. She gets kidnapped by locals there who hope to trade her for vaccines once they are created. Whole lot of good she does.

U.S scientists are looking for a cure as well and they start with a Paltrow autopsy. It's pretty hardcore. I can't say that I have seen many autopsy’s or even an autopsy but does the person being cut up usually have their eyes open? Much creepier that way. Speaking of creepy, Morpheus is another scientist and he should not sport a mustache ever. He and Kate Winslet are pretty important with Winslet being sent to Minnesota where the Damon's are to start planning statewide quarantines, limiting the wreckage.

In another lab, Elliot Gould is working on find a vaccine. His supplies or something get compromised so he is supposed to scrap his experiment but being the rebel that his is, science will prevail. He keeps working and finds out that it has something to do with bats. Dimitri Martin is a lab assistant of his for no reason. Drops 0 jokes.

Can you tell that there are a bunch of side stories? Jude Law is a blogger. I guess I am a blogger now so I can respect that. He tries to get an interview out of Gould but he declines and adds that being a blogger isn't being a writer. I can also respect that. Basically I'll wrap up all of Law's story here because I thought it was the worst of them all. He says that he had the disease and then was cured by using some drug. People go out and buy tons of that drug because they think it's helpful but in the end he never had the disease and was just trying to make money off the drug. Gets busted. Spoiled that story but it's not important. How about that, if I spoil a side story and it doesn't give away the ending then maybe it doesn't need to be in the movie. Only if something cute happens in it.

Brian Cranston works for homeland security and has barely and screen time. Second time in a row because the same thing happened in Detachment(movie #28). Be glad that I'm watching so many movies so you can get breakdowns like that. The virus has gotten serious and people everywhere are really freaking out. Damon finds out that Paltrow was banging a guy in Chicago and got him sick before she came back home to him. Sad. Then Winslet gets sick. Sad. Funeral homes stop accepting bodies and people are looting pharmacies. Freaking out. The next 25 minutes of the movie are pretty boring so onto the end.

LET'S JUST MARK THESE SPOILERS

Stores are being burned down everywhere and humanity seems to be general anarchy. Damon goes to a grocery store one day and it looks just like when everyone was looting a grocery store in Jumanji, just minus the chimps. Winslet dies which is a bummer. Damon tries to get out of Minnesota to head for Wisconsin but the whole place is quarantined off. The one time someone wants to go to Wisconsin and they get denied. Shame. A vaccine finally gets created and the scientist who made it tries it out on herself. Pretty gutsy but luckily for her and then for humans it works. Something like 26 million people have died at this point. Now that there is a vaccine, I kind of just wanted the movie to end but it wouldn't. The vaccines are given out to people by birth dates which are randomly drawn in a lottery. They just don't have enough of a supply for everyone in the beginning. Damon starts missing Paltrow but I don't because she's a cheater. His daughter had to miss her prom so he gives her one in his house. Kind of cute.

Movie ends by showing us how the virus was created. I have no clue with how those things work so this is only how I saw it, probably not how it really happened. A bat pooped in a pigs food. The pig ate the poop and formed a bat/piggy virus. The pig was sold to a restaurant and the chef diced up said pig. The chef than didn't wash his hands and shakes Paltrows hand causing the ruckus.

BACK. WASH YOUR HANDS AGAIN.

Favorite scene: Kind of liked when Paltrow died. Not because I wanted her to die, but it happened so fast and so early that it just felt kind of eerie. Really didn't know where they would take it after that.

Memorable Lines : “Blogging is not writing. It's graffiti with punctuation”. Sometimes, I don't know where to put commas and if you see me try and use a semicolon then I'm sure it will be a failure. So maybe try again smart guy!..,.,!??:;,.!

Rating : 6.5 pieces of gum under a desk. Good and bad. Good things are I liked that they had different story lines taking place at the same time. It gives us some perspective. The acting was good and it looked nice. Bad things. It didn't need some of the story lines and got dull in the middle. Did make an impact on me by wanting to cleanse myself so that's always a good thing for a movie to do.

Alternate Ending : No cure is found. Everyone dies except for Matt Damon, his daughter and Fred Durst. Damon forbids them from getting married. The human race ends.

What I would do if I was the main character : I don't really think there is a main character. If I was Damon, I would've probably lost my mind a lot more. Then I would've stolen more stuff. If I was Winslet then I would've worn a hazmat suit 24/7. If I was Jude Law then I would have quit all the conspiracy stuff and just became a model. If Morpheus then shaved my upper lip sweater.

What happens in the sequel : Pretty much the same movie but the virus is created by aliens. The space kind. Then they come down and create the vaccine so they gain our trust. Once they get in control, they harvest all of our teeth which are used as galaxy wide currency and get rich. I bet that wouldn't get boring.