Candy and a Movie: Movie #19 Oceans

Oceans (2009)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765128/

I know that this blog is all about my opinions and I can't be right all the time. For all those opinions I finally can give you a 100% true fact. There is not a single better thing in this world or any other to watch while falling asleep than Blue Planet. It has soothing music, wavey waves, swimming animals and sometimes penguins and they top it all off with an old British guys narration. Planet Earth and Life are still great to watch but who is snoozing to Sigorney Weaver and Oprah. Not this guy. I put Ocean's through the same test by starting it at 1:30 am one night.

First thing I noticed is Pierce Brosnan is doing the talking. Feeling it. This is isn't going into my Blue Planet sleep bank though. I guess because this is a short movie instead of a miniseries and the fact that it was in theaters that the editors decided to go more dramatic with music. Makes it a better movie but kept me up. What happens next is going to be a little different. Instead of writing whole paragraphs about why animals do the things that they do, I'm just going to list my notes on how I felt about the movie. You can let Pierce tell you all that other stuff.

In general I like all water animals over land animals. The only exceptions to this are Panda Bears and fat little Corgis. Those are my favorites.
Whenever someone starts talking about exploring the ocean, you always hear some dude say “we know more about space than we know about the sea”. The movie actually talks about how similar space and the ocean are which none of the other shows have done. I dug it because I dig space too.
This movie is super sciencey of course so they get into evolution a lot. Even if you are super anti-evolution maybe you can chill out and just watch the sea lions frolic about. Same goes for Carl Sagan's Universe. Sure we believe in completely different things but the guy knows about space and I like seeing pictures of red dwarf stars. If you can't get over it, then maybe you aren't any fun. Consider yourself judged!
I like Blue Planet better but this looks better. Definitely missed out not seeing this in theaters because it would've looked awesome.
Schools of fish moving in giant balls is awesome. One scene shows a giant ball of sardines just getting wrecked by sharks, dolphins, whales and birds. At first it's pretty cool but after a while you are just watching sardine genocide. I made myself feel a little better by thinking that their tiny brains probably don't feel a lot of things like pain and fear but what about Nemo? And is making fun of something for being dumb supposed to make me feel better?
Just kidding sardines are filthy animals and deserve it
The Blanket Octopus is pretty awesome
Sea Lions look cute but don't sound cute.
Humpback Whales sleep upside down. I think it's because they are one of the ugliest animals I have ever seen. Wayyyyyy worse than Winehouse(r.i.p).
Great White Sharks jumping out of the water to eat some animal will never not be awesome. If I have to go out, this is one of the ways that I'd consider.
This movie is bad for Sea World because you see the dark side of Shamu. Shamu is to Sea Lions as mayonnaise is to me. Deadly.
The Killer Whales do their murdering in either Australia or Argentina. Somewhere in there, I didn't catch it.
They kept showing shots of these giant blue whales. I guess because they move so slow, they just look like they're sad 24/7.
Pierce Brosnan just said that sound carries farther and moves faster in water than on land. If anyone can think of a way of testing that, definitely let me know.
There is a pretty epic Crab vs Lobster fight. I can't believe it took till 2009 for someone to film this match-up. I've wanted to see this since I was five and there's no way I'm the only one.
Crabs taste better than Lobster, might even be my favorite food.
Turtles have reverse cuteness. Usually the babies (ex puppies and kittens) are cuter than the full grown animals but Turtle babies are hideous.
I'll finish with I'm glad they showed real life Nemo and F&*# Sea Snakes just as much as land snakes. Worse animals.