Movie # 49 Thor

Thor (2011)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800369/

I'm back! After almost a week away due to finals and then a funeral, I am starting up the blog machine again. Even though I was away, new readers from Brazil, Singapore and Guadeloupe still logged on for the first time. Most excellent. Also, I just created a page on facebook (http://candyandamovie.blogspot.com/ ). That means if you become a fan that every time I make a new post, it will show up on your feed. What a convenience.

With the Avengers coming out on Friday, I needed to catch up on my superhero movies. I decided why not watch them in the order that they came out so it will be Thor first, then X-Men First Class (who I don't think will be in the Avengers, I just wanted to watch it) and then Captain America. Before jumping into the review, I'll give you a little lesson about a certain angle used in filming. It's called a Dutch Angle. Turn your head 45 degrees to one side and things look crooked right? The same thing happens when you turn the camera a little bit.

Example

They are used to create uneasiness in high tension scenes. Maybe someone is being chased and keep tripping in a dark, creepy hallway. Tipping the camera can make things a little more eerie. It can make things look dumb too. Lets say for example the camera turns to someone eating pancakes and they use a dutch angle. It just doesn't look right. You don't want to over use the shot, I would say more than two is too much and don't ever use it on trivial stuff. I'm certainly not an expert about these things. Like I don't know who is the one who makes the call about using these shots, the director or the cinematographer but it's something you expect from a rookie. If you've ever had a video camera and want to film something for the first time, probably one of the first things that you will try is to see what happens when you tilt the camera a little. You see it all over those bad SyFy channel movies because those people don't know what they are doing and it makes the movie even more crappy. Then you see someone like Christopher Nolan use it twice in the Dark Knight when someone is hanging upside down, not seeing the world normally so we don't see it normal either. Appropriate time to shoot at an angle. Why am I saying this? Because I think there are more of these shots in Thor than for any movie that I can remember seeing. I looked things up and the director said that he did it because he wanted things to feel more like a comic book. Come on dude.

Yes I really just complained about the cinematography in a super hero movie. But there is more to it. First scene takes place somewhere in New Mexico. Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard (Eric(good actor)) and Kat Dennings (Darcy) are in a truck riding around in the desert. The are some kind of scientists looking for storms. Maybe they are looking for Thor's, I'm not sure. Then something Thor related crashes to the ground. I don't know what it is because either the movie or the TV is too dark. It was Thor. Time for a flashback.

It's 900 A.D in Norway. The villagers then had to deal with frost giants which must've been a huge bummer. I turned up the brightness on the TV, it definitely was the problem. Ok, the Norwegians luckily enough have Anthony Hopkins come down from the sky and fight off the giants (who are normal sized not gigantic). Human Anthony Hopkins would've been plenty to deal with them but in this movie he is Odin, the king of the gods. The giants get defeated by the gods and Odin loses his eye. I don't like eyes not in sockets or sockets without eyes (see Kill Bill Vol 2.) so I wish that he just had the patch on for the whole movie.

After the battle we see Asgard, the home of the gods. I think it's pretty corny. It looks like a golden city of the future. I always imagined that it would have big stone and wooden buildings, be more vikingy. It's too fancy for a bunch of warriors. We see kid Thor and his brother Loki. They seem to be buds until Odin tells them that only one can have the throne. Loki gets jealous because Thor is the first born and heir.

Skip forward to the day that Thor is being made king. The dude is pretty cocky. It's his coronation and he seems to be living it up. His beautiful blonde hair swaying everywhere. Right when Odin is about to say that you are now king, three frost giants break into Asgard and try to steal their cube of power back. I don't know why it has their power in it, but Odin took it after he defeated them and they need it back to rise again. This sentry robot pops out of the wall and blasts them away. It's super loud. The sound mixing in this sucks. All of the dialogue is to quiet which forced me to turn up the volume. Then some explosion or something would happen that was deafening and I'd have to turn it back down. I was in constant battle with it all movie.

So because of that interruption, Thor isn't named king. He throws a hissy fit. I have to say that he is a hot head and not good king material right now. He talks to some of his friends. One is supposed to be the fat one although he isn't all that fat. He's played by the same guy who was the new Punisher. There is a guy with a mustache and an Asian guy. About that, Idris Elba plays the gate keeper too. I don't know how much diversity there was in Norse mythology but I don't have a problem with them updating things for the movie. A lot of people online seemed to question it, but I don't see what the big deal is. Loki is with them and so is the dark haired lady Sif. Babe. Together they all follow Thor through the bridge between worlds and into the frost giant's realm. Thor thought it was messed up how they came and attacked during his big king unveiling and wants to get revenge by bringing the fight with him. This ice planet looks a whole lot better than Asgard does as far as effects go. They find the king and get to fighting. Thor is dominating but the rest of his friends are taking a beating. The giants freeze you whenever you get touched but when they touch Loki he absorbs it and looks perplexed. Hmm, foreshadowing? A giant yeti thing chases them down and when they are on the brink of defeat, Odin shows up to save the day. Thor is stoked and thinks he is there to rage with all of them but he is mad at Thor for pretty much starting a war. They go back home and the two of them get into a war of words. Thor calls him and old man and a fool. Odin says that he has betrayed all of them by going on that attack. He takes away all of Thor's powers and banishes him from Asgard. He then whispers to Thor's hammer and weapon, the Mjolnir, ever so sweetly that whoever can wield it's powers has to be worthy. I guess that means Thor has some learning to do from Portman.

Speaking of her, we see Thor crash to earth again. Portman is back in the truck which then runs over Thor. He acts like he is a god, Darcy gets scared, and tasers him. I imagined him saying “don't tase me bro” in like old English and I laughed on the inside a bit. They leave while the hammer is falling to the earth in the distance out of their sight.

Basically the next 30 minutes is supposed to be kind of funny with Thor acting like a god who is out of place on earth. It gets old to the point where I got a little tired of it and was just waiting for the moment where Thor gets defeated and realizes he isn't a god and has to chance his attitude. Because you know it's coming. Once he does that, then he can pick up the hammer and save the day. There's the rest of the movie spoiled for you, sorry. He interacts with Portman and the other scientists who want to find out more about him. Thor takes his shirt off and she falls for him. No one can blame her because he is looking pretty godly. We get a little background about Loki who becomes the new king when Odin goes into a coma (acoma). He isn't Odin's real son but really the kid of the frost giant's king. Surprise. Odin found him alone and took him as his own. Loki drops some serious acting during the scene, yelling that he was only pawn in Odin's plan to get a truce between them.

Shield shows up and turns where the hammer fell into Roswell type secret base. They confiscate all of Portman's stuff because she had info on it. She and Thor show up outside the bunker where the hammer is and Thor breaks in to try and it get. It's probably the best scene of the movie for me. Hawkeye (one of the future avengers) shows up and really doesn't do anything. Thor gets to the hammer and can't pick it up, now he's bummed. Shield interrogates him and when they leave the room, Loki shows up. Tells Thor a bunch of lies like Odin is dead. Loki also told the frost giant king that he would give them back their power cube if they kill Odin. That isn't very nice. I forgot this, in the middle of Thor going to get his hammer, Portman calls Eric and the first thing she's says is “Don't worry, I'm fine”. If someone ever calls you out of the blue and that is the first thing they say, they aren't safe and they want you to be not safe with them.

Eric gets Thor out of Shield's holding cells and Thor has finally come around to be a good guy. He and Portman go out and sit next to a fire (Portman lives in a trailer by the way, would be easy to take care of her) and it looked like things were about to be set off. I mean when Thor, with those golden locks starts talking about other realms out in the moonlight there is no way any mortal could say no. Portman just falls asleep though.

Loki sends that loud robot thing to earth to kill Thor. His four friends from the ice planet escapade show up to get Thor back and help him but get trashed by the robot. Sif does this hot, slow motion jump through the air and stab thing but even that doesn't stop the robot. Thor walks up to it and says something like “Take my life and spare the others”. Oh ya, he is ready for that hammer. The robot kills him, the hammer flies out of the ground to the dead Thor who is now alive and destroys it. Yay.

SPOILER TIME, IT”S BEEN A WHILE

Thor and the others get ready to go back to Asgard. Before going he kisses Portman's hand who then kisses back his face. All gentleman. He is off. The rainbow bridge that he is walking on doesn't have much color. I wanted to see the Mario Kart rainbow bridge, but this one was very clear. The frost dude shows up to kill Odin but Loki kills the frosty first. It was Loki's plan to look good all along by saving Odin. I think. Loki does this thing where he freezes the bridge to the ice world which will destroy the frost giants which he thinks will impress Odin. Guy has major daddy issues. They fight and eventually the only thing Thor can do to stop the whole ice realm from being destroyed is breaking the bridge. That will block off them off from going to all planets so he wont be able to see Portman anymore. Just as it breaks and they are falling, Odin shows up and catches them. Loki lets go because Odin says that this wouldn't make him happy. Sad but no way he is dead.

Everything there is back to normal. Thor is bummed because he can't go back to Portman and that would crush any man, lets be real. Lady Sif is a mighty good rebound though, I wouldn't be sulking for too long. He stands at the end of the bridge next to the gatekeeper and asks if there is anyway to go back and he says that there's always a way. Movie ends. After the credits they have a quick scene of Eric with Nick Fury. Eric gets possessed by Loki or something who is about to steal some energy thing. Could be an avengers plot.

THERE IT IS

Favorite Scene : Thor breaking into the hammer base. For a super hero movie, the action scenes seem short but this one was actually exciting. Some good fighting and drama.

Memorable Lines : “This mortal form grows weak, I require sustenance!” I want to start saying this all the time.

Rating : 6 Pez from a Thor head dispenser. Movie is pretty average. Was a little rough in the beginning but picked up there at the end. I wish they had gotten a real director instead of the guy who played Lockhart in H.P. 2. I was also bummed with some of the effects. In a lot of places, the green screens just looked cheap. I would've rather they put the money into building some sets. They didn't even have to look all that nice and it still would've been an improvement. Loki could've been a little more evil too. I'm guessing we'll get that in The Avengers.

Alternate Ending : Am I alone in wishing that Thor didn't get his powers back and went to go live on a farm or something? Him and Portman and maybe Sif just wrangling cattle. I think they would be happy.

What I would do if I was the main character : Natalie Portman

What Happens in the Sequel : Loki causes a ruckus and gets back to earth somehow. Thor finds out a way to get to earth too and they battle. A battle for the throne in Thor II : Game of Thrones. The actual sequel is on the way too.

 Odin with Thor and Loki

 Portman but you knew that

 Gate keeper

 That's a god

 A look at Asgard

 Killer Robot

 Bad dutch angle

 Bad dutch angle

 Bad dutch angle

 Bad dutch angle

Bad Dutch angle

Almost forgot Sif

BY ODIN'S BEARD 

Finals Week!

I would like to say that this is more important than finals, but that just isn't true.  Sorry.  That means i'll be taking a few days off so I can get my study on a night.  I'm looking to be done on Thursday sometime so you can expect my triumphant return on Friday.  By then, you'll have all my time and we should be in a rapid post zone. I won't forget you, see you soon.

Movie #48 Lionel Messi: Worlds Greatest Player

Lionel Messi: World's Greatest Player

http://www.101greatgoals.com/gvideos/lionel-messi-itv4-documentary-worlds-greatest-player/

I'm not home this weekend so the movies in the coming soon post will have to wait till I get back to be posted because my notes were there too. In honor of el classico being played later today I thought it would be fitting to watch this documentary I found a little while ago. It's about Leo Messi, a soccer (football) player for Barcelona It might be more of a TV special than a movie but whatever, I'm counting it.

Movie starts out by showing four year old Messi playing soccer in Argentina. He is so small that the ball is almost taller than his knee but he is just destroying those poor children on the other team. They show him at age 11 and he is still weaving through defenses. I'm pretty good at soccer. Other than my 3v3 team (still getting used to the game) I'm usually one of the best players on the field. 11 year old Messi probably could've got around me more times than not. In all of his youth videos, he looks much smaller than all of the kids he was playing against. I always thought that was probably because he was just better than everyone his age and played with the bigger, older kids. Turns out he had a growth hormone deficiency. He still would grow, but just at a slower pace than normal.

He got hormone treatments and at the age of 14 he went on a trial at Barcelona. People there said that he was a ball hog but that's just because he was better than everyone else. When the trial was up, his dad told Barca to either offer him a contract or they were going home. The team didn't have any paper around so they drew up a contract real quick on a napkin, signed it and Messi was now their player. Barcelona coach Johann Cruyff was installing the famous “total football” dutch approach to Barcelona's youth system. Their youth academy was turned into one of the worlds best and definitely had an impact on Messi becoming the player that he is today. He still was dealing with the hormone problem and treatments which weakened him so coaches were only able to see short glimpses of his skills.

Frank Rijakaard gave him his first team debut. He came on at the end of the game and scored on a pretty dirty chip 3 minutes later. The goal was wrongfully ruled offside. 90 seconds later, he scored on an equally dirty chip and this time it counted. All at the age of 17. The first time I remember seeing him(because it was my first time watching European soccer really) was in a champions league game vs Chelsea. Chelsea had on their ugly green jerseys. Messi had a good game but got injured during the return leg and sat out for a few months. Barca made the Champions League final that year vs Arsenal but Messi didn't make the game day roster. He felt that he should, was bummed, and didn't even come down and celebrate with the team when they won.

He scored his only world cup goal in the 2006 tournament that same year which will be talked about more at the end. Their coach messed up by not playing him when they got eliminated vs Germany. His big coming out game was vs Real Madrid of course in the next season. He put in a hat trick as a 19 year old. He was always compared to Maradona and scored two goals that year that were very similar to those of the Argentinian legend. The first was a disgusting run that started in his own half and ended with a close range shot. The second was a handball that was just like the Hand of God goal. Everyone remembers the first but not the latter. I guess that's the reward for being a solid dude, everyone gives a free pass to your mishaps. He was growing into a star and loved playing so much so that one game he pulled his hamstring and started crying when he had to come out. Maybe that was a little much.

There was a whole thing in 2008 when Messi wanted to go play in the Olympics but Barcelona wouldn't let him because he could get injured there. The case went to the court of arbitration and Barca ended up winning. Barcelona's new coach, Pep Guardiola allowed Messi to leave though because he knew how much it meant to him. In the end Messi came back healthy and with a gold medal so everyone won. At some point, all sports teams get old and it becomes time for a new wave of players to come in. It's happening to Chelsea right now. For Barca, it meant the end for Deco and Ronaldinho who was formally the worlds best player. Those were big shoes for Messi to fill when he became the new #10. That year Messi assists on the Iniesta goal that knocked out Chelsea and sent them to the final vs Ronaldo and Man United. Messi not only played in this one but scored a header in a 2-0 win.

His last champions league tie lost came against Mourinho's Inter Milan but he would go on to beat his Madrid team in the next seasons tournament. I remember rooting for Madrid hardcore in that game because I thought that the only reason Barcelona advanced past Arsenal was the bs red card called on Van Persie for shooting just after the whistle was blown. They would beat Man United in the finals again that year at Wembley. I remember that game too, I watched it in a hotel room while in St. Augustine. He went on to win his third straight Ballon D'or (best player trophy) and everyone loves him because he's super humble and thanks his teammates. He shouldn't thank whoever told him that red suit looked good.

Back to the international stuff. In the 2010 world cup with Maradona as the head coach, Messi went scoreless and the team was eliminated by Germany in the quarter finals again. The movie doesn't talk about it but he has also had a Copa America to forget last year too. Argentinian's didn't get mad at his bad performances but questioned if he was trying to win with the national team. He plays so great for Barca, why can't he do the same for Argentina? He does care though so much that he turned down a chance to play for Spain when he was eligible but chose to remain an Argintinian international. Pele and Maradona both won world cups and many people think that it's the only thing in between calling him the best of all time. Gary Southgate goes on to say that it's not Messi's fault and the Argentine team is good enough. The guy is a clown though, every national team that Messi's played on has been stacked. The movie wraps up with Figo, Zidane, Eto'o, Pele and fat Ronaldo all saying that Messi is the best player in the world right now and rightfully so. Wegner says that he's the best ever. Don't know about that one but he is young enough to definitely be.

Rating : 6 soccer ball jaw breakers. Movie wasn't anything special but I learned things I didn't know and saw some good clips so I can't complain.

Not doing anything really special with this one because it's just a straight, informative biography. Not doing what I would do if I was the main character because I had to give up my dream of being a pro soccer player and it's too late to bring up those thoughts again.

 Messi and his trophies

 National Team Messi

End of one of the best goals ever

Goal (oooooooooooooooooooooooooool)

Coming Soon

I had a paper due today for school which took a lot of my writing time away plus my floor hockey team has made a playoff push into the championship.  Free time has been limited.  Look for two movies I saw in classes, John Q and 12 Angry men to come soon followed by He's Just Not That Into You.  After those I'll be knocking out some of your requests.

ps 50 views away from 4000

Movie #47 I Think We're Alone Now

I Think We're Alone Now

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152828/

Falling asleep to documentaries is a past time of mine. Unless I'm exhausted, I'm not good at just turning off the lights and dozing off. Pretty sure that they invented the sleep timer on TVs just for people like me. What makes documentaries nice to snooze to is that they are usually just good, easy viewing. Sometimes they are just straight informative like movie #19 oceans. Most of the time they are like movie number 18 See What I'm Saying in that they are about some person or group who is faced with something and overcomes it in the end. Happy endings 4/5 times. Every once in a while the ending you're hoping for doesn't come and your left with someone's sad story. Then there are documentaries that are so messed up, weird or sad that you hope it is fake and everyone is just actors.

The movie just jumps in without explaining things so I will do the same. One of the two main characters, 50 year old Jeff, tells the camera that he and this former pop star named Tiffany have known each other for most of her life and they are in love. They've kissed with no tongue but he could've slipped it in if he wanted to. First off, who is Tiffany? After looking her up, she had most of her fame in like 1987 and 1988 before I was born so that's why I've never heard of her or her music. Also, if I was to get into the stalker field, it would have to be legendary babe and it seems as though time has already forgotten Tiffany. Her biggest song was “I Think We're Alone Now” hence the name of the movie.

So this guy is a little weird right? Anyone can lie about knowing someone famous to someone who wouldn't know. Actually believing your own stories puts you on the path of being a crazy person. You know what else would make you a crazy person. Telling the camera that you've been branded a stalker of her and laugh at parts of a report describing your stalking. Then saying that she had to get a restraining order against you and you've loved her since she was 16. Also he writes in cursive. Psycho.

The other main character is this person named Kelly. This is what I wrote down about Kelly the first time we see (her/maybe him) “Not sure of Kelly is a guy or a girl. I'm thinking maybe a little of both”. That's just me being stupid right? Wrong, I totally nailed it. Kelly is a hermaphrodite. Both seventh grade biology and wikipedia has told me that although it isn't said what the extent of Kelly's hermaphroditism is, she has some organs from both genders going on down there. Kelly considers herself to be a girl so I'll be using she's and her's from now on.

Kelly says that she's never had a girlfriend and that makes her really sad. Makes me sad too. But it ends when she says that the difference between her and the other stalkers of Tiffany is that she really loves her. She loves Tiffany right down to her bone marrow.

Hold on, let put up the breaks. How am I supposed to fall asleep now. On one hand you have this old guy with articles about his numerous stalking incidents hung on his wall and when we go away from that we hear about how a hermaphrodite loves the same former pop stars bone marrow. Not that there's anything wrong with being a hermaphrodite, it's just that I've never seen anyone like her and it adds to the unsualness of everything. This is so offsetting to awkward to watch.

Jeff's friend is interviewed and gives some of his buddies background. Jeff's was bullied a lot when he was growing up. His dad died young when he was 13 and when asked about it Jeff says that he felt both relieved and sad at the same time. He was sad because it bummed out his mother. They show his step dad a little who seems to be an alright guy but is hard on Jeff. Says that he has mental issues and tried to put him in a place with people around him who could've helped like doctors but it didn't work out. There being something wrong with Jeff's brain makes it easier for me to hear about his stalking but I'm sure it doesn't have the same effect on Tiffany.

Now Kelly is running back and forth on the street. Apparently she is trying to show off her athletic ability. She is pretty winded at about 100 feet at what she says is on 7%-10% of her full ability. This is all happening for no reason. I told you right away but you still don't know that Kelly is a hermaphrodite so I called her a guy with boobs when she ran. She also sounds like a quieter Kenneth from 30 rock. Now she gets into who she is. Says that she takes a testosterone killer. They show pictures of her in high school and she seemed to be normal enough but that was as a boy. Kelly says that she was pretending to be somebody she wasn't so went back to being a girl and is happier now. Good for her. She also said that if she knew Tiffany than she would be loved and accepted by her. Maybe don't put a ton of eggs in that basket.

We now find out that Jeff has Asperger Syndrome. It's a form of autism which explains his lack of social skills. People with the disorder also sometimes have problems becoming obsessed so things are becoming clearer. They show Jeff going to church and his pastor thinks he's great. Meanwhile, Kelly's roommate and friend is interviewed and says he can relate with her because he's gone through his own difficulties being gay.

A random girl who turns out to be the person in charge of the Tiffany fan page is interviewed and says that she thinks Jeff isn't safe. Maybe she doesn't think he's safe because one time he brought flowers and a samurai sword to a concert. When asked about it, Jeff laughs and says that he did it because giving her that stuff is the greatest honor one could receive in Japan. Then he holds up a bunch of books about stalking and laughs like it's funny he's a stalker.

Kelly's story unfolds a little bit more when he says that his dad was in the army and was around hazardous agent orange chemicals which probably led to his abnormality. For the first six years of her life she was raised as a girl but then she was forced to be a boy. Definitely would cause you some identity issues. Both characters then reveal that they get paid federal disability and that's how they get most of their money. Jeff doesn't spend money like the rest of us. He has spent over $20,000 on time machines and other Tesla like electric equipment. He puts on this one helmet that's attached to a machine and says that he and Tiffany's spirits are connected. He can feel what she is feeling. I seriously hope this is fake, both the movie and the spirit machine.

Kelly's roommate says that her obsession with Tiffany was probably caused by the accident. Sometime in the 80's, Kelly had an accident on a bicycle and was in the hospital. While unconscious, she visioned herself with someone who looked like Tiffany. When she woke up, the first song that she heard was a Tiffany song and when someone showed her a picture of what Tiffany looked like, it was very similar to the person in her dream. Kelly took that as a sign and now has made it her life's only mission to be with Tiffany because that's the way things were meant to be.

In 2004, Jeff proposed to Tiffany but she rejected him because she was already engaged. And he's a psycho. Kelly got super depressed when she heard the news about the marriage. She also keeps using football analogies and said it sacked her like a defensive end. Not only does Jeff think he's best friends with Tiffany, he also believes that he's best friends with her husband. I would watch that sitcom, a guy and his wife's stalker are bffls. He even thinks that the husband is jealous of him. Finally, Kelly gets mad and snaps about the whole thing. It's a little terrifying.

Apparently, these two aren't the only two creepy dudes (and half dude) who have a thing for Tiffany. There was one stalker back in the day who got caught bringing a gun into a show. The same guy later killed another person he stalked. Several different other guys tell the camera about how great she is. Jeff says one time a bunch of lesbians rushed on stage and “butt bumped” Tiffany and no one did anything about it. I'm going to say that probably 9/10 times I'd want to hear more about chicks butt bumping but when Jeff says it, it's just a total turn off.

Each of them attempt to go to different Tiffany concerts. Kelly can't get in because she doesn't have her ID, she only has a picture copy of it. She gets bummed and buys a lot of alcohol. I feel bad enough for her that I'm worried. Outside of another concert, Jeff argues with other fans about who Tiffany likes more. He says that in 2000 Tiffany called him and said that he was her “best friend, mentor and protector”. One chick listening gets super jealous. There is no need to be because it never happened but then again, who cares.

Then this happens. Apparently Tiffany posed for Playboy a while back. Sometimes you just need money. She appears at an adult entertainment convention and of course Jeff shows up. He says he is there to kiss her and give her gifts. Oh boy. She sees him and is not stoked. There is an autograph session and he gets her to sign a couple of her pictures. I wonder what it would feel like for a bunch of people in public to ask for your signature on a picture of your nude bod. Maybe if enough of you get interested I could find out. They would have to be professionally done pictures because I need as much airbrushing as possible. I could easily see Tiffany freaking out with all of the stalkiness Jeff is showing her but she is nice about it and doesn't hurt his feelings.

TIME FOR THE END

The two of them get together to go to a Tiffany concert. Jeff calls her a boy and think that because she's a hermaphrodite, he can choose not her. Then they argue about who Tiffany thinks is a better friend. Should be neither. Kelly starts putting on make-up to turn herself pretty. Poor girl, I'm not sure if America has the ability to get that much make-up in time for the show. More arguing, this time about who Tiffany means more to. The concert goes well and after the show they get autographs when she has another signing. Kelly says that maybe she isn't coming home with her but she has something better now, her everlasting friendship and all relationships start as friendships. Yeesh.

There is a kind of where are they now segment once they get home. It seems like Jeff has moved on from Tiffany to Alyssa Milano. At least I know who she is this time. I can't believe he gave up on Tiffany when he was so close (sike). Kelly found a new friend who's a girl that makes her feel more like a woman while giving up drugs at the same time. She is looking into getting breast implants which would make her feel more complete. I hope to never see them. Both characters seem to be less obsessed and are more into just being friends with Tiffany. Quitters

WASN'T THAT SOMETHING

Favorite Scene : Kelly running in the street. It was like something Napoleon Dynamite would do. But that is fake while this was real.

Memorable Lines: Already said them in the review

Rating : 7 fang lollypops. This is kind of a real life horror movie. They are both innocent enough and have reasonable explanations for how they act now but it still creeps me out. The movie is pretty short so we get to see who they are, why they are the way they are and then their interaction with what drives them. That's enough. I don't know how I feel about the characters. I feel bad for them and are happy when they seem happy but feel uneasy just listening to most of the things that they say.

Alternate Ending : No matter what I can imagine, it always ends with the two of them getting maced.

What I would do if I was the main character : Either go to therapy or be a full on serial killer. Being a crazy nobody wouldn't be good enough.

What happens in the sequel : Kelly gets a thing Carlton from Fresh Prince and Jeff starts stalking Fergie. Very entertaining.

 Jeff's Spirit Helmet

 Kelly

 Jeff saying something absurd no doubt

 How Kelly feels about Tiffany

 What Tiffany actually looked like

 Jeff and a friend

 Kelly looks excited about something

Tiffany wanting to be anywhere else on the planet.

Please just be actors

Movie #46 Memento

 Memento (2000)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209144/

Senegal and Latvia are the newest countries with readers. Magnificent. Can't get into the review without letting you know that I've watched this movie twice recently. I saw it a long time ago but all I remembered was that I really liked it and it's about a guy who has short term memory loss. That's it. Maybe I have long term memory loss. Anyway, I found the 10^th anniversary version online and I thought it would be good to watch. I figured they probably “remastered” it (whatever that means) and maybe added in a few deleted scenes or something. I was wrong. If you have seen the movie then you probably know one of the coolest things about it is that it flows backwards in time. Like you start at the end and then find out how it got there throughout the whole movie. In the version I saw, someone had completely reorganized things in chronological order. The movie still was pretty good but it just ended and remembered that there was some twist. I looked the movie up on netflix thinking that the version I watched had just gotten cut off only to realize that I watched it backwards (forwards) and the twist was told like 10 minutes in. Maybe that was the twist. So to write a proper review, I just watched the regular version so everything you read will be in the right order. Confusing? I hope not.

The first scene of the movie is a hand holding a Polaroid picture of a dead guy with dramatic music playing. The hand shakes the picture and a little of it disappears. Should be more showing up, what's going on. Shakes it again and it starts to get yellow like how Polaroids are when you first take them. Then the picture turns black and we see the guy who got shot. The blood pool is retracting so things are still going backwards. Scene cuts to the main character, Leonard (Guy Pearce), getting into a car with some dude named Teddy (Joe Pantoliano). The window of the car is broken. Because things are going backward, I'm sure we'll find out why that happened later. They go to some rundown looking building. Teddy enters first followed buy Lenny who has a picture of Teddy with a note that says “Don't believe his lies, he's the one, kill him”. Lenny shoots Teddy and now we know who the body is. That's how this movie works, the scene you're watching will end with the beginning of the scene before. Then the next scene will end with the beginning of the scene you're watching now. You learn more piece by piece.

In between most of the scenes are these cool little cuts of Lenny in his hotel room. It's all in black and white and for the most part he's talking to someone on the phone, tell him his story. It's a clever way to tell us all of Lenny's back story as we hear him tell it to the person on the phone. Don't know if I have clearly talked about Lenny's memory problems. Basically someone raped and murdered his wife. Somewhere during it, Lenny had a head injury that damaged his brain. He remembers everything that happened before the accident but is unable to make new memories. He takes pictures of people and writes notes on them (like the one of Teddy). He tattoos the really important stuff on him so that it'll be there forever. For instance, across his chest(which is pretty well sculpted) are the words “John G. Raped and Murdered My Wife”. That's not something that one should be forgetting. On his hand is “Remember Sammy Jankis”. On his leg is a tattoo of a license plate number. He opens up a paper and it's a report of a John Gammell who owns that plate. Leonard see the picture of John and it's Teddy and he writes down he's the one kill him. This is all going on in black and white in his hotel room. He gets a call on the phone and is about to talk about Sammy when the scene ends.

Leonard walks into a diner and is supposed to meet someone named Natalie. On her picture is the note “She also has lost someone and will help you out of pity”. Natalie is the chick from the Matrix. I don't like the way she is talking, she isn't super nice. Natalie hands Lenny the info on Teddy so we see how he got that. Lenny then has a quick flashback of his wife and he was married to the brunette girl from CSI.

Back to the hotel and Lenny tells whoever on the phone that he used to be a claims investigator for an insurance company. That means he was the guy who decides if the people wanting money were bs'ing or not. His first real challenging case was Sammy Jankis. The guy got in a car accident and couldn't remember anything for more than a few minutes. He can think and remember to do things like give his wife an insulin shot perfectly fine, he just can't remember that he did it right after it happens. Leonard said that even though Sammy said that he didn't know him, every time that they met he could see a look of recognition in his eye.

Next scene is Leonard waking up next to Natalie, it must have been a good night. They kind of half kiss and it isn't hot.

Back to Sammy. To test if he had short term memory loss, they test him by having him pick up blocks. If he touches one of them, he will be shocked and should be able to learn through repetition not to pick that one up anymore. He does the same test over and over, never learning which brings Leonard to declare that his condition is psychological not physical meaning that they don't get their insurance money. Dangle from Reno 911 is the doctor which is super random.

Leonard runs into Natalie's house all angry and confused. We should see how they ended up spending the night together. He has a picture of a bloodied up guy but Natalie said that the guy beat her and Leonard was getting revenge for her so it's ok. He calms down, they end up in bed together and he talks about his own problem to the dramatic music again. This is when he writes down the note about her helping him out of pity.

Now Leonard wakes up in a hotel room. There is a beat up guy in the closet and Teddy is knocking on the door. Teddy is let in and when asked why his is there, he says because Lenny called him. He then says the best part about knowing someone with short term memory loss is that the same joke keeps working on them. He finds the guy in the closet and they don't know what they should do with him. Eventually they get him in a car and threaten to kill him if he doesn't leave the city so he peaces out and they don't have to worry about him anymore.

Once Sammy's case is over, his wife comes in to see Leonard to ask him what he really thinks. If he thinks that he's gone forever than she can forget the old Sammy and learn to love the new one who can't remember squat. If he thinks that he might snap out of it then she will try to get the old Sammy back. Leonard says that he doesn't think that he is faking but everything is in his head. He should snap out of it.

Leonard is in the shower and a guy walks in to use the bathroom. They fight and Lenny wins. We don't see his junk, only some buns so I might consider us all winners. He ties the guy up, puts him in the closet, calls Teddy and then falls asleep. Now we know why there is a bloody guy in the closet. Kind of.

Lenny is giving himself a tattoo back in the hotel room. He does it by taping a needle to a pen and dipping that in ink from the pen. Metal. His lines are pretty straight for doing it that way.

Next scene starts with Leonard just running. He sees a guy and thinks that he's chasing after him. Once the guy shoots at him, he changes his mind and decides that he's being chased. The guy is the same dude who will end up bloodied in the closet and his name is Dodd. Leonard finds that he has Dodd's hotel room written down so he heads over there to wait for Dodd to show up. He hides for a few seconds and then you can see that he changes and has completely forgotten what he is doing there.

Lenny is driving his car and some dbag behind him is giving him the horn. He pulls over and Dodd shoots at him, breaking the window. Lenny gets out on foot. We now have seen why the window was broken in the very beginning and how the chase from last scene got started.

Now Leonard gets into his car and see's that Teddy is already in there. Teddy tells him not to trust Natalie because she will use him. Then he drives off.

Back to the hotel room again and while still talking on the phone, Lenny takes a bandage off of his leg. It was covering a new tattoo that says never answer the phone. He hangs up right away.

Leonard is now in a panic at Natalie's home. He keeps saying “Don't forget” over and over to himself while looking for a pen to write down a new note to himself. Natalie walks in and he forgets everything. She looks pretty rough and says this guy named Dodd beat her. Lenny says to write down where Dodd lives and he will go take care of him. Now everything will Dodd makes sense. Lenny squeezes his fist like he just hit something and it hurts now. Hmm

Hotel room again and Leonard is in full paranoia mode. The phone rings and he hangs it up right away.

Back to Natalie's house where Leonard is sitting on her couch and she gets up to hide all of her pens. Then she goes off on this crazy rant about his wife, calling her all sorts of names (rhymes with bunt) and calls him a retard. She says that he is a freak and she is going to use him. I knew she was bad. He kind of puts his hand over her mouth and mushes her. I've never imagined hitting a female but if someone ever warranted it, it's Natalie right now. She keeps going on and Leonard finally does hit her. She leaves with all of the pens so Leonard can't take a note. Then she walks right back in, face all punched and says that Dodd did it. Now we know why Lenny's hand hurt.

Back at the hotel, Lenny is still very paranoid.

Natalie and Leonard arrive together at her house. She is still being nice at this point. We finally see what happened the night of the rape/murder. Leonard wakes up and his wife isn't in bed. He hears a commotion in the bathroom and grabs his gun. Lenny busts down the door and sees that his wife is getting raped and has the shower curtain over her face so she can't breathe. Lenny shoots the guy and then someone else throws his head into the mirror causing the brain damage and now memory loss. Basically he is the one looking for the killer because the police don't believe that there was a second guy who smashed his head. They don't believe that they should be looking for a John G.

More scene's of the hotel and he still isn't answering his phone. An envelope is slid under his door that says answer the phone. Inside of the envelope is a picture of him smiling.

Lenny finds a coaster in his pocket that says meet Natalie at a bar. She thinks that he is her boyfriend when he drives up, a Jimmy Grant, because he is driving the same car as he does. She is bartender and inside talks to Lenny with some attitude. To test if he has no memory, everyone at the bar spits into a beer and she gives it to Lenny who drinks some of it, forgetting about the spit. Gross.

End of the Sammy story. Says wife went home and kind of game him a final test. She said that it was time for her insulin and he comes over and gives her the shot. 15 seconds after he sits back down she tells him the same thing and gives her the shot again. She does it a third time and he gives her the shot for the third time. I guess too much insulin can kill you because she fell into a coma (acoma) and never woke up again. Sammy now lives in a retirement home and has no idea that his wife is even dead. Aww. Lenny goes on to say that the look in his eye's when they met of recognition was just a bluff. We all do it when we see someone who remembers us but we don't remember them. He was just trying to give off the impression that he did know who he was.

Teddy tells Leonard that he needs to get out of town because there is a cop that's messing with him. He says the guy is trying to get Lenny close to Jimmy Grant and get more information on him because he is a drug dealer.

SPOILERS ALTHOUGH THE MOVIE IS ONE BIG SPOILER

Last time in the hotel room. The cop on the phone must've asked Leonard if he was ready to get John G. because he says that he's ready. He walks out and things are in black in white so this all takes place after his conversation on the phone. He said that he would meet the cop in the lobby and what do you know, it's Teddy. He was the guy on the phone the whole time but I figured it was him. There was no one else it really could've been. For the first time Leonard is wearing different clothes so he changes sometime in the near future. Teddy tells Lenny where to go and it ends up being that same beat-up place from the beginning. He is driving a pick up truck that was left there when he went back the second time and killed Teddy so I'm guessing that he leaves in someone else's car. He walks into the building with a tire iron in his hand and the car that he's been driving all movie shows up. Can't be good for that guy. The guy is also wearing the suit that Leonard has been wearing. They chat a little and Leonard hits him in the head with the tire iron. Right after that he tells him to strip because he doesn't want to get blood on the clothes. I'm thinking “alright Lenny. This is the John G. Get him.” Jimmy Grant puts up a fight while taking his clothes off but Leonard end up choking him to death. Leonard puts on his suit and the movie jumps back to being in color.

Teddy pulls up and Leonard is upset about killing Jimmy. Doesn't think that he is “the” John G. Teddy says who cares, he's “a” John G. Leonard now has a gun and it's aimed at Teddy. Teddy tells him that the whole Sammy Jankis story is really his own story. He is Sammy Jankis. That would be a serious twist but Leonard says that it isn't true and he knows it isn't. Phew. Here comes the big twist.

Teddy says that he was the cop that investigated his wives case and was the only one who believed him about John G. A year ago they tracked the guy down and Leonard killed him. Teddy took a picture of him right after it and was the one who slid it under the door. Teddy thought that killing John G. would snap Leonard out of his short term memory problem but he still couldn't remember anything like even the fact that he killed John G. Now Teddy has been tricking him into going after other John G's. He says that there are so many of them and there are a few bad ones. Teddy's real name is even John Gammell, John G.

Leonard goes back to his car and thinks to himself something like “ Fine if you want me to go after John G, I'll go after a John G. It's going to be you” and drives off. So the whole movie, he was really after Teddy. Boom.

WELL THAT TOOK LONG ENOUGH. HERE IS THE END(END) OF THIS POST

Favorite Scene : I kind of like all of the hotel scene's the best. It's all black and white and he's just talking to himself but they look awesome. Also any scene where you can physically see him forget what he was doing is also sweet.

Memorable Lines : “What's the last thing that you remember? My wife... That's sweet....Dying.”

“Now, where was I” (best line to end on)

“Well, at least you're being honest about ripping me off”

Rating : 9 Lemon Heads. Might be my highest rating yet. Can't think of anything I didn't like about this movie. It makes me think to about other movies like the Woman in Black where the director has trouble telling a story in a regular sequence. Think about how hard it is to envisioning not only the sequence that this went through but also making it look the way it does. The music goes perfectly with it and Pearce does a good job acting. The black and white scene's look great especially when contrasting the ones in color. I guess if there are things you don't get you can always watch it in a chronological progression now like I did the first time too. It's way better in it's original format though.

Alternate Ending : Nothing that I can come up with would be as good as that he was Sammy Jankis the whole time. I'm glad that they didn't go with it because the one they stuck with is great but this one would've been a mind freak too. I also thought while watching it the first time that the twist was going to be that he was the one who killed his wife by accident or something and it was so traumatic that he blocked it and now is living in this current fantasy world.

What I would've done if I was the main character: My memory isn't so great in the first place. I don't remember what I had for dinner last night but it was probably Doritos Locos tacos. I can only come up with that because it's what I eat most nights though. I would probably drop out of college and start training for the UFC. Those guys have lots of tattoos and have been beaten in the head so much that I assume they can't remember anything so I would fit in.

What happens in the sequel : I don't even know where to begin with this. Would it start before the beginning or after the ending. The beginning is the ending of the story so it would take place before the movie starts I think. Or maybe not. Sorry, I'm not even going to try. Let's keep it a solo work.

 Leonard and his pictures

 Leonard and Teddy cruisin

 Leonard about to go to Dodd's hotel room

 Leonard checking out his tats

 Leonard and Natalie.  I don't like her

Jimmy Grant in black and white scene

Movie may possibly get better every time you see it.

Special Guest Review: Pan's Labyrinth

So if you saw a few posts back, my internet friend by the name of Pitt Crawley created a blog of his own.  He did his own review of a movie and I like the idea of getting some diversity on here.  I'm sure no one wants to read the same style of review 365 straight times.  If anyone else wants to post their own thing on here, go ahead and let me know.  I only require one thing, that it isn't as good as any of my reviews.  This one is better but I give it a pass because the style is way different.  I can't be looking bad on my own blog!  So read the review and then check out his blog which can be found under "My Blog List".  Enjoy.

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

When one enters a labyrinth, it can be easy to be turned around, confused, and possibly lost along its twisting paths.  Once inside a labyrinth, things may not appear as they truly are.  Light is bent in odd directions.  Sound resounds off the walls in confusing ways.  Reality itself appears twisted and beyond comprehension.  And several people can enter the same labyrinth and meet very different ends.  All this and more can be expected when one dares to enter Pan’s Labyrinth.    

Spain, 1944, during the end of a civil war, Ofelia, a young and imaginative girl, and her pregnant mother travel to the country to be with her stepfather, the cold and calculating Captain Vidal, as he finishes his brutal campaign to crush the remnants of a rebel force in the surrounding countryside.  The captain is a viciously efficient man who detests anything that wastes his time and anyone who does not obey orders immediately and without question.  He is a slave to routine and discipline.  The consequences of failure to meet his expectations are met with graphic violence dealt out personally by the captain.  Beyond himself, the only other thing Vidal is concerned with is the birth of his son who he sees as an extension of himself.  

In contrast to her stepfather, Ofelia is a free spirit who does not allow her life to be dictated by such things as time and material possessions.  She is obsessed with books of fairytales and stories that contain the hope of eternal life. Ofelia carries around a sense of independence and does not require a playmate or constant companion in lieu of a good book and her imagination.  While she has no love for the captain, Ofelia does value human life and has no desire to see anyone hurt or dying.  

 During her first night’s stay, a faerie appears to Ofelia and leads her to an ancient faun that resides in the center of a nearby labyrinth.  The faun reveals that Ofelia is a lost princess of a magical, underground realm and has a chance to obtain immortality. All she has to do is complete three tasks that will prove whether or not her immortal soul has remained pure and intact.  These tasks include the restoration of nature, resisting of temptation, and ultimately self sacrifice which, despite a failure in one of her previous tasks, allows Ofelia to move on to the underground realm and reign for eternity with her parents.  

All the while her stepfather attempts to purify Spain via death and destruction and tries to obtain a small amount of immortality by passing down his name and memory to his son.  But in the end Captain Vidal is denied even that.

Near the beginning of the film, Ofelia whispers a haunting tale of immortality to her brother.  The tale begins with a rose that grows on the peak of the mountain.  The rose blooms every night, and will bequeath eternal life to anyone that plucks it.  But no one dares to try, because the rose’s thorns that grow around the entirety of the mountain carry a deadly poison.  Deterred by the thorns, humanity allows its incessant fear of death to rule over them, and eventually they forget about the rose and about the hope of eternal life.  

This story sets the tone of Pan’s Labyrinth, and allows the differing views on reality, realism and nominalism, to run along together through its depths.  Realism is the belief that universal or abstract ideas such as nothingness and immortality actually exist outside of the mind.  This metaphysical ideology is held up by the young and hopeful Ofelia.  Ofelia takes a dualist approach to interpreting reality.  She believes that both the physical realm and the magical realm exist and are important.  This is shown in the way she worries and cares for the wellbeing of those around her and in the way she trusts the faun’s promises and places her hope in eternal life.  Nominalism is the belief that such ideas are only constructs of the mind and do not actually exist in reality.  This philosophy guides the life of Captain Vidal.  The captain is most likely a materialist.  He is obsessed with time and does not believe it should be wasted, because one is only given a limited amount of time upon this world.  His obsession with time is symbolically shown by his ever-present pocket watch.   The extreme importance the captain places on time is also revealed in the way he brutally but quickly kills two men suspected as rebel spies.  After he executes the two men, it is proven that the men were actually innocent.  The captain’s only reaction is to impress upon his officers that if they had properly searched the men to begin with that he would not have had to waste his time dealing with them.  

Pan’s Labyrinth briefly wanders over an area of epistemology known as rationalism or innate knowledge.  According to the faun, Ofelia is supposedly the reincarnation of the lost Princess Moanna.  And the object of the tests the faun puts her through is essentially to see if her innate knowledge or soul remains intact.  Throughout her tests, Ofelia does show cleverness and sudden intuitions that a normal girl would not have displayed.  In two of the tests the faeries and faun lie outright to her and try to manipulate her into making the wrong decision.  But in spite of that Ofelia is still able to see through the deceit and make the right decisions.  

The path upon which Pan’s Labyrinth takes its viewers runs a very close parallel to the Cult of Orpheus.  Within the Cult of Orpheus, it is believed that human souls once existed in a perfect realm.  But when a soul commits a sin in that realm, it is banished to the physical world, where it experiences pain and suffering.  Only by committing acts of good can a soul once again return to the perfect and divine realm.  Pan’s Labyrinth begins with a tale about a perfect and eternal realm underground where Princess Moanna ruled with her father and mother.  Things such as pain and lies did not exist there.  But Princess Moanna longed to experience the human realm, so she found a way to reach it.  Once there she forgot who she was and for the first time experienced pain, sorrow, and death.  In order for Ofelia, the reincarnated Princess Moanna, to pass through the portal to return to the perfect underground realm, she had to sacrifice her life for another.

But despite her sacrifice and involvement with faeries and fauns, one can still take the view that all of Ofelia’s fantastical experiences are nothing more than a by-product of her overactive imagination.  As materialist Thomas Hobbes would put it, she is just experiencing epiphenomena.  That these fantasies she is experiencing are caused by physical reactions in the brain, possibly brought on by her fixation with fairytales.  

There are three subgroups within this film that mirror the beliefs held in our modern age.  One group, represented by Ofelia, holds the belief that there is a material world and another, possibly perfect realm beyond the physical.  Captain Vidal is the representative of the second group that holds that nothing else exists beyond the material.  To the second group the only thing that matters is the hear-and-now.  The last group exists between the extremes of the previous two groups.  The most apparent representatives of the third group are Ofelia’s mother, the doctor, and the captain’s servant Mercedes.  These three do not prescribe to one belief or the other; they simply do not know what to believe.  Within today’s society exists the religious or spiritual, the atheist, and the agnostic.  At the end of the film, the viewer is given three alternative exits.  The viewer either chooses to believe that Ofelia did actually reach eternal life, that Ofelia actually created the fantasy world in her head as a way to escape the awful reality surrounding her, or chooses to remain undecided.  

Guillermo del Toro does a fantastic job in comparing and contrasting three very different views of reality. The characters he creates to champion the varying beliefs are believable and relatable.  They all carry out their roles in such a convincing fashion that it makes it possible for the viewer to come to three very different conclusions.  

Although there was a certain characteristic of Captain Vidal’s that did not seem to mesh with the rest of his character.  Several times during the movie, Captain Vidal makes several decisions based solely on gut instinct or intuition.  For a man whose life is controlled by time, routine, and discipline, instinct would not seem to be a valued character trait.  

Pan’s Labyrinth does put more of an emphasis on the realism, dualist side of the story by aligning it with the heroine’s point of view.  It also puts nominalism and materialism in a dark corner by affiliating it with Captain Vidal.  Because of this slight emphasis, the philosophical implication of the film becomes clearer.  Midway through the movie, Ofelia asks the servant Mercedes if she believes in faeries.  Mercedes tells Ofelia that she believed when she was a little girl but stopped when she grew up.  At the end of the film, Mercedes mirrors the despair that was seen in Captain Vidal as he died when she finds Ofelia dying in the center of the labyrinth.  In the end, there is only one person who has found happiness and that is Ofelia.  She dies smiling because either in her mind or in reality Ofelia has finally reached the place she had placed her hope in.  The main philosophical implication is that man has lost hope in immortality or eternal life, and without it he only finds despair within death.