Pre-Screening Special! Movie #17 21 Jump Street

21 Jump Street (2012)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1232829/

I know what you're thinking. This movie doesn't come out for 2 ½ more weeks. You must be a pretty important dude to have seen it already. Well thanks for thinking that. There is this website, gofobo.com, along with a couple others where you can get tickets for advance screenings. I know this sounds like a plug for them but it's not. Use it to your advantage. You can get three awesome things out of it, see a movie, see it before it comes out and see it for free. I think there are tickets available for this movie available Oviedo theater on March 7. Tickets do run out so get on it. Boom.

Because this movie isn't out yet, I'm going to do things a little different. First of all, I laughed the entire time. I want you to see this and because of that you are going to get two reviews. The first is a very, very basic synopsis. The second will be the normal kind review. Don't read the second if you haven't seen the movie because I don't want to spoil anything. If you have 0 interest or are just a bad boy/girl I suppose I can't stop you but it's for your own good.

First review.

Movie is funny. Think of it as a funnier Superbad. At least 10 really solid guffaws and a bunch of other laughs. I never saw the show so I can't compare it to the movie. The show was before my time, I'm sorry. Anyway these two dudes, still chunky and funny Jonah Hill along with a surprisingly funny Channing Tatum meet one day in high school. Randomly after not seeing themselves for 7 years they both sign up for the police academy on the same day. After a while they find out that they need each other to graduate and become friends. After a while on the force they get assigned to go undercover as high school students and bust a drug ring. There that's it. A pretty large number of other funny characters are in the movie too including Rob Riggle, the guy who plays Ron Swanson, the guy who plays Dr. Leo Spaceman, Ice Cube(actually funny), the girl who replaced Pam on the office and and a bunch more.

Now begins spoiler central. Be mature.

About that maturity thing, a lot of the laughs are purely from some “crass” language. That's not really a spoiler. Neither is the fact that they don't let you bring your phone in the theater so I couldn't take my usual notes. That's a bummer for all of us.

21 jump streets starts out in 2005 with a high school Jonah Hill who is dressed just like Eminem. He tries asking out a pretty hot chick to prom and gets brutally denied. Channing Tatum (Jenko) with long hair overhears it and rips him good. Jenko then learns from the principal of the school that he can't go to prom because his grades blow. Both he and Hill(Schmidt) end up leaving the school crying. Skip forward seven years and Schmidt is signing up to join the police academy. Jenko is not book smart at all and Schmidt is well, a chunky guy trying to get through a sort of boot camp. They need each other and come friends.

After they become cops they expect a life of adventure but end up on bicycles looking over a park. There are a bunch of funny things they do like stopping a kid from feeding ducks and getting a Frisbee out of the lake. Finally they see a bunch of bikers smoking weed and think they have a real bust. After searching one of the bikes, they find a bag of coke and the bikers take off. They get in a chase and Jenko eventually chases down one of the guys and instead of telling the dude his Miranda rights, they just kind of dry hump him and fake t bag. Really funny stuff like that. Of course they get called into the captains office who is Ron Swanson. He says some really funny line about how they are going to try some undercover operation from the 80's because they can't come up with anything original anymore. You know what they are really talking about though right? It is funny.

Once they get to 21 jump street they find out that they are going undercover and were selected because they look like Bieber and Hannah Montana. Ice Cube is their new captain. I'm not a big Ice Cube fan and he isn't really funny in this scene, but for the rest of the movie he was on. They are supposed to uncover and stop the supplier of a new drug. They watch a youtube video of a kid on the drug and it's really funny. Part of the gig is them moving back in with Schmidt's parents who don't add a lot to the laughs really. First day of school Jenko is teaching Schmidt how to be cool but it seems that in 8 years that things have really changed. He has gone from being the cool kid to not fitting in. He punches a gay black kid(there is a whole I didn't punch you because you are gay talk) which gets them sent to the principal and threatened that one more mess up will result in expulsion and the end of their operation. When giving them their schedules, Jenko forgets his new alias and takes Schmidt's hard classes while Schmidt spends time in art and drama classes.

They began to infiltrate the students and try to earn their trust. Right off the bat Jenko messes things up with James Franco's little brother, who happens to be the main drug dealer. It's very believable and he actually sounds exactly like James. Schmidt begins making eyes at his girlfriend Molly and they become friends. The actress who plays Molly happens to be the same age as me and I'm a good distance past being a high school senior. I was into her but my friend wasn't so you get to make the deciding vote on her. Just like the you know when the principal said that they were close to getting expelled that they would be, when you see the way the camera shows Schmidt looking at her you know the two would get involved. Schmidt asks Molly about the drugs and she points him in the direction to go. He gets Janko and they end up meeting little Franco for the drug. They each get one and Franco makes them take it in front of them to show that they were cool. Right after swallowing it, they rush to the bathroom to puke it up. They fail and end up trying to “finger each others mouths” to get the drugs out. This whole thing killed me. They failed again and feel the full effects of the drug throughout the rest of the school day. Again killed me.

Now I am starting to forget things so bear with me. Jonah Hill ends up being friends with the cool kids and Tatum ends up hanging with the nerds. It's just more funny that way. To be even cooler they throw a party and invite everyone. Tatum gets his nerd friends to put a bug in Franco's phone and Hill ends up getting Franco's back in a fight. That whole scene is funny too. After the party they are both officially in. While each continues to spend more and more time with different groups, they themselves grow further apart. Their inevitable fight and break up from being brothers happens but it doesn't take long for them to get back together. The big showdown at prom happens and the supplier ends up being Rob Riggle, the P.E coach. Out of nowhere Johnny Depp and who I can only guess used to be his partner show up as undercover cops themselves. The whole movie theater went nuts. I guess there are a lot fans from the original show. Rob Riggle ends up getting shot in the dong and while handcuffed, picks up his own dingus with his mouth. If you are counting, that is now two detached dongs in three reviews. Maybe it's a new trend, I'm certainly not into it.

Favorite Scene : Most people will say it's their drug trip and that was certainly hilarious but I really laughed hard at Riggle yelling during the school play. It was gold.

Best Quotes : I'll have to update later because I couldn't write them down and they aren't on the internet yet. Only one for now is “Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?” “Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.”

Rating : 8 really solid Riesens. I thought the movie would be fun to watch and it definitely was. Didn't think Channing Tatum would be funny but he really was. All of the other comedians just added laughs. Set it up for a sequel that I wouldn't mind seeing at all.

Alternate Ending: The supplier ends up being Ron Swanson. They screen the movie and everyone boo's because his one scene wasn't enough, they want more. Also you end up not seeing his johnson making things much easier for my soul.

What I would have done if I was the main character : If I was Hill I probably would've realized that I'm like 10 years older than this high school chick and it's creepy. I wouldn't have used that Rainman joke either because I don't think it would've worked on high school students today in real life. If I was Tatum it wouldn't matter what I did. I'm good looking enough that I could do no wrong. I'd probably get in a lot of fights to look hard. Life wouldn't be so bad.

What happens in the sequel : They are underground college students. Hill is in charge because he is actually smart enough to be there. This time Hill stays with the nerds and Tatum is with the Jocks. He makes the basketball team and slacks off until coach Carter gets hired to set him straight. Hill gets with a chick he would have no chance with in real life. Real, predictable stuff.

You always had a way with words, Dave