Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)
Back in the day I was a huge Jenna Fischer fan. Then she got really pregnant cranky on The Office and my adoration of her faded. John C. Reilly thankfully continues to be funny. Walk Hard is a comedy sort of based on Johnny Cash. I'm not really a music buff but there are a ton of musicians in this. Or at least actors playing musicians.
The movie begins with Dewey and his brother playing around. One thing leads to another and Dewey accidentally cuts him in half with a machete. I could actually see that happening in real life with my brother and I would be the one cut in half. Throughout the entire movie, Dewey's dad tells him that the wrong brother died. Again could true about the real life scenario too.
New paragraph to get away from that, Dewey is now 12 and marries Kristin Wigg. They move away and start having kids. Dewey is the janitor at a dance club where one night the bands singer gets injured and can't perform in front of the talent scouts who are there. He kills it and from here on out he is a star. His first big hit is the movies title, Walk Hard which happens to not be an awful song if we are being honest.
Dewey now has the rock and roll part and it's time to move on to drugs. One of the funnier reoccurring jokes in the movie is Dewey walking in on his drummer doing drugs and being talked into taking them. After the drugs all that is left is the sex and we get to see the aftermath of an orgy or two. In steps Jenna Fischer, Dewey's new partner or dueter, I don't know what to call her. They sing a funny song with a fair amount dirty innuendo. After spending a lot of time together they do what a lot of famous people do, just get married. Only problem is Dewey is still married to Wigg. Edith (Wigg) walks in on the two of them and leaves Dewey, solving all of his double marriage problems.
Movie starts to get a little boring now. Dewey's drug habits catch up to him and he loses relevance. He now has to go back and find himself
SPOILER CENTRAL
In the end, all that Dewey really wanted was his dads love. He goes back to visit him and his dad accidentally cuts himself in half with a machete. After seeing how easy it is to do, he forgives Dewey for chopping his other son, who has now become a ghost Jonah Hill (still in his fat funny form). Cox lives out the rest of his days getting to know his own 26 children better and gets inducted into the hall of fame.
CAN'T REALLY RUIN A SPOILER FOR A COMEDY. IT ENDS HAPPY, LIKE ALL THE OTHERS
Favorite Scene : I know a lot of people will say the Beatles scene but I think it's the rehab scene. Honorable mention goes to all the drug scenes, Dewey and Darlene's song and the bands break up.
Funniest Lines : “Edith, I told you I can't build your candy house! It will fall apart. The sun will melt the candy. It will never work”
“Dewey, I'm cut in half pretty bad”
“I'd be walking on the moon looking for aliens to kill”
“Oh so I'm a cheater, but you can just drink up all the milk”
“I think I'm doing OK for a 15 year old with a wife and baby”
Rating : 6.3 raspberry pez tablets. I don't know what else to call them. I think I would describe this as a bad movie with funny scenes. Some of the lines and characters are great, but the story is just, yeesh. I would say that it is a movie that you don't put on but if it is already on you don't turn it off. If that makes sense.
Alternate Ending : I miss Edith. I liked her better than Darlene. Edith and the monkey are reunited with Dewey and they spend the rest of their years together. And this blog wouldn't live up to its name if they didn't spend those years inside a house made of candy in Greenland where it's cold enough to not melt. Greenland happens to be part of Denmark and not it's own country. The more you know.
What I would've done if I was Dewey : The same things? I might have more books smarts than Dewey but we both are weak to some peer pressure. I would've gotten a Panda Bear instead of a monkey. Stopped having kids and get married to only one lady. But this all doesn't matter because like I said, if I was Dewey, I'd be the one cut in half. I've seen my brother toss a machete before.
What happens in the sequel : All of Dewey's kids get together and do something. Maybe a band or maybe something else. Sky diving team? Or synchronized swimmers? I'd like to think that they all form an elite marine unit. Definitely watch that movie.
That's 10 down.
Gotta love the scene where they eat the ice cream!
ReplyDeleteI loved the song that Dewey and Darlene sang. Too funny!
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